Plenty of sleep last night. Already emailed students and need to post to blog. More and more the classes reside in mind’s front. Right there, for me to be reminded. Good, I think to myself, writing everything down for them, the 1A students, no matter how silly or non-connected. And I notice that’s a figment of my character I need adjust, the notion of singularity and if something’s “connected”. Doesn’t have to be, immediately….. just bring it back, soon or not so “eventually”.
HL feeding, me needing another cup of coffee, and we’re in another time squeeze as we were last week with an appointment. Write what you can when you can, I note. Not sure where I am in the 365, and it doesn’t matter. Distracted by message alerts, emails, on work phone. Should I go back, next week? Or do a modified return? Letting them know I need some days for appointments. Could write the Director at EOD, today… after talking to MAF, see what he thinks.
Watching all these conversations about MPoE’s and fiber, hosted voice and internal wiring has me even more thinking of the opportunity in architecture and Engineering, construction. An how it connects with me as a writer and one wanting two other homes, one for family and one for writing, escape.
Maybe I don’t need that other cup. Maybe one of those nitro-cans. Not sure, that really jolted me yesterday, making me feel near-intoxicated. Fuck it, I say to myself….. ‘nother email. Can’t let myself look. Focus on THIS page.
Emma not feeling well, I guess. Ate an expired yogurt, the theory of MAF and me. Feeling guilty, like I failed a bit as a father. Saw that one yogurt in their was expired the other day, and only through that one away rather than doing any inspection. Don’t be so hard on yourself, I say. But then, get harsh. This is a lesson. Take more ownership and decision in moments, the house, building, assembly… again the metaphor on which I posted a video yesterday, Jack and his legos. Jackie complaining that he messed up, that he couldn’t find a set part or set of pieces, and I told him to make something up. You don’t need the directions. He didn’t get what I was ordering and intoning I don’t think, but I may have AGAIN taught myself something or reminded Mike Madigan that the answer is always proximal, not distant. And if not an answer final then a momentary bridge.
10:58 Would love a shower. Can’t… no time. Have to feed HL with that little wire, or tube. The auxiliary milk we give him from MAF. Henry proves to be the savior, and yes I’m going to use that word, that I thought he’d be. That I knew he’d be when I had that first early early sitting int he hospital. The only one who can curve the luminous benefit of this Now, the Now I’m in, Mike Madigan’s, is MIKE MADIGAN.