New year. First time in seat for 2020. Getting out of office, saying hi to people. That’s it. Have vehicle from fleet reserved, and getting to work with words, just smiling and saying hello. As easy as when I run, just as easy as it is for Emma playing with those toys on the floor as she did yesterday.’
Got key. Saw a couple friends from MDU department, Stephanie and Taj both going out, separate ships. Eager to get out, walk around cities of San Rafael and Novato.
Set timer for 30 mins, 30 mins to run through these sentences and thoughts and prepare self for a different day. Not stopping in these 30 not even to edit, or answer and email. A call I may have to take, but not a thing else. If someone approaches my desk I’ll tell them something like, “I’ll be with you in just a sec” or “I need to finish this”. Something. This is to get me in a position for the day, so this first trek in the 2020 step is as lucrative and productive—more than productive—USEFUL, and initiative as possible. I’m thinking more of the day, this new year and how quickly I got here.
Hear co-workers talk about territories, and the names for them. I laugh a little to self as it reminds me of Field Sales, my department when I started. But I’m here now, Enterprise Business. Not so much selling but narrating, speaking, just as I wanted to do. People now talking about New Year’s Eve and the parties to the right and left of their homes, the party or parties they attended. I’m focusing on the day, this new year, walking around San Rafael and Novato, and just enjoying myself. If people see that, they’ll respond, right?
Don’t think I’ll get a run in, today. May have lunch, do a working/writing lunch in Novato somewhere. Downtown, not BMK. Be as many places as I can. Conversations, that’s the aim of day. Running, playing, just enjoying self. In sales we focus too much on the metrics and the results when we should be more so focusing on enjoying our day. We say that to others all the time, right? “Have a great day!” or, “Enjoy your day….” Why don’t we say that to ourselves, more? Or, do just that reflexively. Not as pattern, but as instinct, inadvertent movement? I’ll never know, but I’m doing it today. Work, it should be one of the most loud and forwarding forms and momentums of happiness in your life. So, focus on you… you being happy. More than perspective, more than sight… something I can’t name or assign some tag.
Latte…. Going through target list for the day. Written, and I’m ready. I mean, if I wanted to I could leave right now. But no. I’m taking this time, this time for me, to run and sprint then slow down again, pace self in sentences as I do in my running. Take a second to message Melissa, telling her I’m planning on running in the morning. Treadmill, which I’m not the hugest fan of. WILL. Run earlier, be on that belt and belt out 9 miles like I used to, even Abraham my MDU buddy whom I used to meet there after 4am would even be amazed with my mile tally. Just wake up, and go. It’s work, it’s not supposed to be easy. I know. Keep going in these sentences….
16 minutes left. Grab things and go when time is up. After restroom stop of course. Be light in your travel, don’t bring backpack. Again thinking of quitting that goddamn thing. That clutter inviter. Yes, Mom and Dad gave it to me, but…. Will keep it in the lower drawer here at desk. Plan to vacate office soon, so that could be a problem.
coLAB closed on New Year’s Eve when I went by to pay for the lowest plan offering. Go by today after work, on way home. More visions of office, and what this AE form and “role” (hate that word), STORY is doing for me. Work, funny today…. I notice myself in the morning tensing, thinking of all I need today do and for what. Again, PLAY. Have fun… just run. One step in front of the other. That’s it. Why do we overthink shit when it comes to work, most notably our own happiness, enjoyment of. Seeing some new connections and beaming love eclipses in my writing of work, how WE might want to think about working, approaching wherever we are 40 or however many hours a week.
Ten minutes left. Don’t pay attention to the time. Only the words. Be more of what you tell students to do, WRITE don’t think. Thinking is the clot, the block for so much. Why don’t we see that? Why don’t I fucking see that? Latte, a couple sips more, looking forward to the drive, and just walking into offices, meeting people. Not even going to pull business card from pocket till the interaction is done. One of the other AEs said he says something like, “Hi… Anyone need internet?” Not sure I’ll speak those exact words, but maybe something in that casual yet poignant curve.
Before leaving, empty backpack for last time. Grab cards and notepads, and leave. And latte, if there’s anything left. Just took a sip, there’ll be some left. Then I note, Don’t work, don’t speak the company, just enjoy the day. Go out and meet people, or don’t. Just enjoy the day, no aims. That is the aim, to be more human than AE, more ME than some rep. This will convert, this will show something. People don’t like to be sold. I fucking hate it, frankly. So don’t do it, I throw at self.
4 minutes. Looking forward to the downtowns or San Rafael then north to Novato. Not sure I’ve been to downtown Novato. Ever. No expectations, really. Just….shit. My work phone, not charges, now dead. Don’t let it throw you off. WORK. Write. The day, wine, my office… head everywhere. Just keep running, motion straight and one beat after the other. That simple. If you keep moving, and you keep speaking, something, several things over time, will connect. That’s law. Not a law of numbers but a law of natural outcome, or something. Maybe it’s not a law.
One sole after other…. Pace. Slow, then a but more sped. Don’t focus on fast, you’ll go fast. Can’t be forced, though. Happiness at work is attained through movement, constancy and pacing. Not by chasing metrics and other number-wombs.
Timer up. Time to go. No fear, no stall, only conviction, ambition, actuation, conversation…. Time to run, and stay running.