10:54.

Smells like smoke in the office, now more than an hour ago.

Director commends me in an email for my activity, yesterday, urging me to “Keep the activity alive!” I respond with “Please… I’m the tireless tiger in the office…” Keeping self going, even though I’m feeling a little funny.  Sipping coffee, then water, making notes in my book on AE life.

Business cards, contributing to the collective conversation.  Sending emails not trying to sell them or even schedule a lunch hoping to see how we can “work together” which is really just obvious not-so-codified or euphemistic talk meaning SELL YOU, but prompt a conversation, an exchange of ideas.  Writing that in book, in that language.  Do your job less as a salesperson.  Don’t speak ‘salesperson’.  Be more human, genuine, present, a learner and listener.

I could NEVER have thought that an internet and tech company could have made me more a writer and lovingly shove me closer to my There.  At Roth, I said something to self to the tune of ‘Cuz Fuck This Shit’, when walking the vineyard.  And not about my so-loved vines, but the industry.  The business. The dimwit and reeky scut tasting room managers and other management that does not so much nothing or less-than-nothing, but just don’t DO.  They don’t move.  They create and educate, innovate NOT.

In this colony, these walls, at Sonic… everything.  That’s what I narrate when meeting prospective clients for the first time, or just finding self in a conversation with someone and they ask me to tell them about what I do.

Shit, one more email to send.  Almost forgot….

SENT.

My beat today is different, more profuse and musical, unconcerned.  I have arrived at autopilot.  I have.  This is not self-delusion, or deception, but truth.  An advantageous actuality about me. I see and feel and learn from it.  This is the only way I will work and live, and living is working, and working isn’t working but creating.

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mikemadigan

Writer/Blogger - bottledaux.com

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