Not reaching 3,000 words yesterday, but hopping over 2k. Which is fine. Today, I had those thoughts again, like “How did I get here?” And, “Now what?” Very much hoping on the telecoms people to come through, offer me something amazing. But I can’t keep doing this to myself. Need this blog to do something. Need my sentences and in-the-moment jots and musings, what wined entertainments stampede through the writer’s head pay the bills that continue to ring and knock.
Yesterday giving a tour for those six people from nearby and all over, all family. Gave an energetic estate tour making sure I held to no script, not even my own. And when in the cave, I kept it conversational, and offered ideas on life and philosophy, how wine teaches us to adjust our sight and self-estimation, to value the moment and those with whom we it spend. I sold a mixed case, charged both tour-and-tasting fees, $45 each (which is silly and didn’t want to but this new manager-esque figure insists so), and they gifted me $60 gratuity. I was stunned. And taught. That’s what I need to expand… my speaking, my thoughts connected to wine and not talk about wine as wine. But as a cognitive entity, a being, a creature that insists angrily we wildly live and not merely exist.
Reviewing wines has never been something I’ve wanted to do, really, even though that’s somewhat how I started my wine writing life, by reviewing wines I’d come across and either giving it a score, or a letter grade. Think I started with numbers and then did what the teacher in me promotes, or used to, the letter mark. I want to review wines differently, even contrasting what I now do, with my ‘thousand wines’ writings. Comically, but not. Telling some story. My wine story. How the industry drove me out of the wine industry but my closeness to wine told me to never leave wine, in the written tenure. Wine is my subject, my topic, my vie. A week ago, today, going to Napa with my good friend Chris, tasting new characters and meeting new people, and he too saying the way I talk about wine ‘fires people up’, as he put it. Today, wine. All wine. But, not. Life. My life’s work… which is definitely, know and note, reader, NOT in ANY tasting room, nor with ANY wine company. My life’s work is here, on the page, decoding life from my wine experiences, how to acquire obnoxious happiness and health, how to live a life that at one time you thought something like ‘Oh, one day…’ About to look through some old wine pictures, and maybe videos. Looking for lessons, lectures from the moment itself. No fear in writing, in wine, even the industry. Well, of course I don’t fear the industry, though it wants us all to fear for our jobs, have that be the carrot, that the reward is we get to keep the job. Nothing in that mentality is ‘wine’. Nothing. So, onward go.