Listening to Hutcherson, “Waiting”, one of my favorite tracks of his. And how appropriate, as I’m bloody done waiting for anything. I’m going to take everything I want, starting today. Just had an idea… motivating or hoisting haikus, 3, sell for $1. Why not? Just as an experiment. See if I can sell. Something before day’s end. Have to think more like a business person, and less like a writer. I’ll always write, but I’m demonstrating more business sense today. Re-Writing how I talk about the wines, how I personify them, and what foods I’d pair them with. I’m to sell by not-selling. That is, elevate the mood of the person on the other side of the bar. Show them, not convince them, that their day is better for being there. Not that I’m to credit, but to robustly expose the positivity and yay-saying rows of the moment.
I so very, very much needed this moment of collection. We all need to. We need to collect more often, not make such a big deal of everything. I noticed when arriving at kids’ school that we just got there— “Where did the drive go?” I thought. “You know where it went,” I said, “you spent it being pissed off, grumpy, quiet.” Taking Emma from her car seat she looked up at me and spoke, in her entangled goo of syllables. “What am I doing?” I thought, being
grumpy as I was. I’ll miss today, their childhood, my whole fucking life if I continue like this. So…. STOP. Already see Self on treadmill later, rushing toward mile 7 and writing new haikus, thinking of my babies, how Day 4/1 was utterly controlled by this writing father.