$0.20 for parking.

Fucking Santa Rosa.

Then $5.10 for the Peet’s Mocha… Think I ordered a three-shotter, can’t remember now.

Oh yeah, and the $160 check I wrote for the cleaning ladies…

Seems like money just wants to fly away from me.  Doesn’t want to stay with me at all.  Kinda funny, really.  But no matter.  Motivates me to work harder, put some books together and sell.  Mom advised I put the pen down for a bit, not be so focused on salable MSS.  And I appreciate her words.  But I can’t.  I have to.  This reasons what and who I’ve become at 37… A writing-blogging-entrepreneur father.  Always working, always marketing, always story telling, always in the always and every-minute, every-second mode.  Just who I’ve grown to be.

Found a nice corner in the Peet’s to collect myself for a few minutes before my time in the stupid draconian asshole-ish meter is up.  Look around outside, homeless people everywhere I can put my eyes.  That motivates me even further, replaces any exhaustion from this morning getting kids ready with a fiery fire… and humility.  A creative quake that won’t stop till it realizes it’s okay to stop, which will be never.  So I keep writing, not even having take a single slurp or sip from my holiday-themed-and-colored cup.

Thinking this morning about cures for blocks, writing.  About how to make my writing more invigorating for me as well as readers.  Of course I postulate, as I share with students, ‘use what I have’… Write in French… Write about wine… About being a daddy…..  About where I am and precisely what I see, what I’m doing no matter how boring.  Writers and other creatives too many times I’ve found wish for something else and they don’t even know what the something else is, or would be.  Not advantageous, I measure.

Still not a sip from the mocha.  What am I waiting for?  Shit…  Just remembered I have to put oil in that goddamn Passat before heading to the winery.  Ugh… There goes more money. Of course.  It wants to leave me.  It doesn’t like me.  Yeah?  Well guess what… There’s a lot more coming in.  So if this dollar doesn’t want to stay, or that one, there’s a lot more on the way.  Other cash stacks in the entrepreneurial ocean.

Time’s up.