journal

12/23/15—

A rebirth of sorts today, and yes this has before transpired but not like today, waking up in Jack’s room on the pull-out bed next to him, Kerouac looking down at Daddy.  My rebirth entails a re-focus and re-branding of me as a professor, which is how everyone sees me.  Friends from Kunde call me such, people in the wine industry (my friend Kevin always introducing me as a Lit professor), friends of the family (Carl, who’s been in our family for several decades, calling me Professor Mike at a speech he gave at Dad’s 70th, before reading a poem, saying “I don’t know what Professor Mike will say…” or something like that).  That’s where I need be.  And my emphasis will be more Education and the act of educating more so that Lit, or composition, writing mechanics or argumentation.  As I’ve always grasped and perceived, educating is about growth, discovery, and embrace of new knowledge you want to hold onto, that you find interesting, and that possibly you want to carry forth into some career, or job, life, lifestyle, whatever you want.

I’ll do more grading today, as well as post to the teaching blog.  And I need to decide upon my texts for the next term.  No more than 3 books per class— English 5: HST, Dharma Bums, and some collected text on Argumentation or “Critical” Thinking.  And 1A— Road, Bell Jar, Glass Castle.. and that should do.  I’m going to fight for a FT gig—  They will not keep this adjunct an adjunct.  And WHEN I reach FT, I will still see myself as an adjunct.  I’m writing out a plan, a timeline for how to get there…  First item, clean desk top, which I’ve essentially done.  Then, post Fall ’15 SRJC grades…  THEN, write for Spring ’16.  And I’ll be working quick, as that writing professor and noting everything about my steps and my lectures and what I want to do with what I’m doing and how I do so, with Education and reaching the students like no other teacher does.  This “rebirth”, or remold of my character and avocational peregrination is energizing in a way I haven’t in a long time felt or tasted.

Emailed students and posted to teaching blog.  The desk is essentially clear, with the exception of a couple small piles and occupied areas.  This re-characterization of Self now will be garnished with the purchase of some books on educating, education, the Art of teaching and reaching students—  Going to research as well Stanford’s schools of Education.  Can you imagine if I were accepted into one?  Oh… the thoughts today are motivated and self-motivating, and with little Emma behind me swinging in here chair and making her sounds indicative of the connection of observation; her eyes open and her head moving around taking in what she can and deciding how to perceive it, what’s interesting to her— and now I plug in the tree’s lights to further encourage her observation pattern and tendency.

Professor.  Me.  Indefinitely.  And how does wine fit in?  Not sure.  Not sure it even has to fit.  I love wine, but it’s not like me as the professor role is, as educating is more visibly and intrinsically harnessed to writing, the act of writing and the the ideas generated by reacting to a text.  Today— me— restoration.  Renaissance.  New story.

And this is THE story for me.

This new me.

This new written me—

SELF-educated.

12/23/15