stressed and frustrated.. But I’m refusing to fret.. about to go to client’s house for vineyard launch. Need more content and material.. all the way around.. keep moving and don’t stop, and I will only relax when all squares have been filled.. Slowing my rush to acquire more clients. Need to measure all steps. Calming myself.. need to be sharp going into the vineyard.. Chalk Hill and AV, I think he said.. more of a social media focus to my little content shop..
Hate the music they’re playing here.. annoying and lachrymose.. ugh.. leaving.
10:06PM– time to work on website.. so why am I writing? ‘Cause I’m a writer. Have to wake early–
6:33AM, and I’m up but not by choice. Jackie insisted it was time to be up even thought he shared his observation of it being “nighttime ou’side”. So now I’m downstairs with him, watching him play with his cars, the new little tracker and marbles I bought him yesterday at the Montgomery Village toystore. Other news: the officialness of this third client. Have to get started immediately. And no more marketing my services, at least not as wholly as I’ve been. People will now come to me, I feel.
Time is becoming evermore an issue with me and my practices; teaching and writing, the couple days I still have at the winery (which I’m hoping turns into a writing assignment or, and, or and/or mmc client). I will say, the days during the week are challenging, and they’ll continue to be as more and more assignments pile for me to grade. So I have to wake early all mornings and days, work hard like I never have one day of only writing and grading. Will tell my friends at the winery such today. My instinct is to keep piling on work, but I know that won’t do a thing but harm me. even now, I don’t have the time I used to to write for myself. The poetry project for example: how long have I been saying I’ll gather around 40 pages of poetry or thereabouts and print them, sell them? For a while, and I haven’t from how much I’m working.. so a readjustment is needed. Or at least a pause, halt in my acceptance of new clients. If I stretch myself too much more into thinness, the quality of everything will erode; teaching, writing, business, husband and father, runner…
Have a couple ideas for writing, for a client, but I sit on them for now.. will type them up later today, after work here at home. How do I get a run in? Mind in every direction, so many directions splitting then splitting again becoming tangents and tangents of tangents. So, then I attach everything.. posting articles to client blogs then jumping over to my writing, then grade a stack of papers and write a lecture or two, post to teaching blog, then get in a run, go home to family, play, eat, sleep. Wake at 5, work and don’t stop. Won’t let this semester defeat me. When M2 gets here, I’ll be atop my world and all the worlds around me.
I’ll admit, I can’t quite remember what I did to my “website” last night, as the Chardonnay from my client’s winery was very much at work. But I’ll look at that as well, later. Have to go through my pictures, see which ones I can use–
Writing the piece for client, before I forget it.. one piece, a spotlight, the other an opinion..
I continue to wake, gradually, while Jackie says to me, “Daddy, I show you…”, new ways to arrange the marbles and the toys and the toys around the marbles then the marbles around toys paired with marbles. His tireless nature and commitment to his morning fun is enviable, and frustrating as I fear I’ve lost that getting older, now 36. Counting…