List, Items

Let’s see how many I get to. Jackie slept in his own bed all night. He made some odd noise, or cry around 11:30 and I was certain I’d have to transport him to our station, but no, he surprised us, greatly. First item on list was that I made sure I started with coffee, and that’s satisfied, wildly. And, if you might note, the coffee tastes better this morrow, for some reasoning peculiar. Heater on, cozy, Jackie playing on his board, the ABC’s and all the numbers he has set in the corner over there near the toy rack Dad and I assembled for him. Next item on list, write, then call the car repair people to set an appointment for the window. Can’t believe that happened, still..
Wanted to visit a winery, just haven’t decided which one. And I’ll go strictly for taking pictures with the camera, not phone.. music on in a second… no tasting, need stay quick this morning. One thing on list is music, lots of music, all day music, experimental prose and poetry, anything to perform.. tomorrow night going to Redwood Café for open mic with the students. Quite excited, really, to hear what they have to read and how their emotions and expression and pieces outside of class are put to paper.
Hutcherson on and I want more coffee, want to move as fast as I can today. Like I noted yesterday I want to be seen as a writer, yes I have a blog but I don’t want to be read down the road, when Jack’s in college, and all stating “yeah he was a great blogger”, or “he was a blogger”. NO. I’m. A. WRITER! 7:16 and I’m already making progress and seeing things for day and for my character and letting my convictions dominate my thoughts.. need to write to students at some point.. there, added to list. I also want to communicate with a student from last semester, Paula, who recently contacted me and in well on a straight to nursedom. And I can see her very well apt to do so and caring for patients as my nurses did when I was in a bed, and how the nurses cared for Ms. Alice and little Kerouac in Feb ’12. Whoa, I think, how did Time do that, pass so fast and with such dismissive arrows. Lots added to list, just now, much with teaching, and grading. All’s connected to my life in Literature and in the classroom, and I know the author I most admire shunned and spat at academia, and I understand believe me, but there’s a gem there, several, and it’s who I am, and I do need a job of some kind. And I love the teaching aspect and the notes I prepare and the students and how they react and the prospect of going back to school myself and chasing that PhD, studying.. away from a timeclock, or a timecard, or anything having to do with THEIR time, devils. And I’m not talking about the current tasting room I’m associated with, I’m addressing the Man, the Devil, those corporations and centers that strip away your individuality and that muffle thought and talent and curiosity and expression. Oh I can see myself and the students reading tomorrow– and I just realize it! I’m reading! Tomorrow! With my students! I couldn’t be happier! This is Literature and Love and I send it all the way to Paris, for Mom and Dad, Uncle Bryan and Ms. Kathie (sp?). Should write her again, Mom, as I haven’t heard from her yet, and I understand.. she’s in my city, the city, Paris– my french! Je ne ai pas oublié! (I did not forget!) I will continue such study today, which will help me when in a doc’ program. Also need to find French podcasts… Need bigger laptop, more memory, will look at them today (more added to list for day). Need another cup.. oh this jazz, putting me in Parisian sense. Belle! Belle! This is my day, maybe this is that awesome day I’ve been wishing for since ’11, when at the box.. huh, the box.. wow, so long ago, so miserable… I remember asking myself when there, “Did I do something horribly wrong to land here?” But it was part of my story, and the main character, me, Mr. Madigan/Massamen, needed to hurt for his character, for this fortitude you see now, listening to this jazz, so at peace in his condo sipping coffee and dreaming, empowered, envisioning.
Only 7:30. God I love this! But I need more coffee and I need to look at the list but that will strip me of the words, or from them, and I’ll sit tilted and squiggly. And I’m anything but hinky right now, or exaggerative, everything this morning and with writings from me now, just before 36, and much before are layered in Truth. It’s the Hemingway circle, the practice of Grim– the empowerment and definition and resoluteness that you don’t witness in non-writers. Am I vain, with vanity in my veins? Maybe. Or maybe that’s how critics would interpret it. It’s expansive confidence, I’d like to think… And critics, criticism.. that’s hilarity to me. The -ism of the critic, why should I listen? There I go, I’ve started… No, I’m ebullient, like Jackie when he wakes and when he plays with his toys first thing in a day! Am I “full” of energy? No, I’m personifying Creative energy’s concept, idea, practice and pull. Look at me!
And now my computer stalls, just trying to update my credit card for something.. ugh, technology.. need to back off, as I promised in the ’35 Laws’, and soon. It’s been bugging me lately like it never has. There, made it work. Many of these songs I heard/listened to when I’d have my morning typing sessions before work, but this morning there’s no rush, and I don’t have to cross that goddamn parking lot in the cold to put my forefinger on that devilish scanner.. all the realizations this morning paint everything better, so much better! (2/25/15)