excerpt from tonight’s pages…

No wine tonight, buy a 7UP and lemon-woven Perrier and now my night’s cap, ginger ale, which only holds maybe a full sip.  No school tomorrow but I’ll act like there is, waking before 5– keeping the 5AM practiced practiced, or I’ll try.  No, do.  10:37 now, so I should get to bed soon, soon so I can utilize every second of my “day off”.  There will be nothing off about my day, my day.. Kerouac entries at right, and letters.  Have to get through my papers tomorrow, all of them, have them all graded and set up spreadsheets for each class!  I have to be on top of everything this semester and right now I don’t feel like I am.  I’ll change it tomorrow.  Retreat to Mom and Dad’s, get work done there.. and maybe write on the deck, have a beer or something, if not coffee.. I need to write for class on Wednesday as well– if I can just closer link my classes with these writings and my novels, these intimate entries and desperations then I’ll be unstoppable, and truly set my self apart from and above any “competition”, these other adjuncts and the arrogant dismissive pig full-timers– they’re not ALL iniquitously abject…

Need new shoes, and I need to register for that 26.2 next year.. why not do that now, or at least find it online so I know where to go to find it and reserve my spot.  Would love to do a marathon out of state, like Florida or New York.  Or Texas, but in the dark of morning so it’s no TOO hot.  I want to be a marathoner like I want to be a novelist, nothing short or too short– so the 12k and half I have coming up, like chapters or freewrites for the larger work, my debut ‘full’.  There, I found it.. Santa Cruz, May 17, 2015.  I’ll be there, believe me.  And by then, my novel, all six parts, will be out for the world to read.  And maybe another one by then too.

Hear crickets outside, and this slight cold or throat scratch and or irritability stays with me, won’t go away, and I’m sure wearing my body down with tonight’s run didn’t much aid in shoeing it away– I mean shooing, SHOOING.