novel excerpt…..

And summer grades: due by tomorrow night. Have to budget.. see, see? My mind’s a mess, have to slow, not stress. Stress WILL make me sick and I can’t afford even a minute of malady. Checking my account balance and I see stability and that’s what I need to maintain for my writing to fly away to the Road and carry me with it. Don’t want to be the stereotyped writer– artstrong and moneydumb. And I won’t, I won’t. More coffee…
Haven’t looked through the old writings in a few days. Not sure how I’ll finish the novel if I put that off, so I look now… more than I can survey now, with Jack at my left commenting on all the scenes of his favorite cartoon. But I do enjoy his analysis, from what I understand. And this semester, about the student comments.. their thoughts on each page, each sentence and word of the author, and then conversely their own. But there was a thought I had last night, just as I laid down that I now can’t remember– it concerned the semester but — ugh, no, it’s gone. I need to have a notebook by pillows now, each night. I hate when this happens. And I need to write more at work, even if it’s a single word or image or fragment. I have only antipathy for penitence, so I make sure that doesn’t again happen. Again. Ever. It can’t if I’m to finish my book– which is now turning to a novel more than a collection of shorts I’m deliberating submitting. And I don’t need the validation, I feel– not from Scott or Glenn or Crystal or any of them. Haven’t felt like this lately; confident and entrenched and READY.