08:15…. 07:30 cancelled. Think I know why, but can’t be totally sure.
Writings ready to send, enjoying coffee, and this quiet and unexpected early freedom on my Thursday.
Reluctant on sending writings, not sure why. This insecurity and its associated feelings and low self-estimation rise just above the water like a cunning croc every so often. My solution and answer, honestly (and this is really what I say to myself), “Fuck it.”
Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen? Everything I’ve heard recently about people getting sick or worse, all ages…. Fearless now. And maybe not so much fearless but with no cares. I’m going to move and deconstruct later if at all.
Noticing others change, noticing me change… reading my own story like I’m someone else. Fear, not permitted. I get scared thinking about life and its brevity and fragility. But what will that do?
This coffee, brewed here, strong. Testing me, I feel. Good. Another cup then…. The kids here later. I canNOT wait. Little Henry and his sprints across the loft, Jack and his sharing of new knowledge, and my little baby girl and her questions, how she asks for Orange juice…