5:09 AM. Up early from not being able to sleep…
Saving some specifics for book, but I have a new story. One placed and purposeful.
Event in the city today. Already showered and dressed, eager, espresso, grateful.
Have to write a note to someone, one sec…..
Was a note to… okay, Ms. Kerri. Long story, but not. Wait for the book. I’m alive this morning in a way I need to be. Quiet in the loft, nook where I’m writing. Making coffee here and driving to SF. Don’t want to be even partially late for this event.
Simplifying and singularizing, EVERYTHING. The coffee being made here symbolic of such thinking. Can’t remember exactly what she said before leaving, but when I told her I’m saving tome and money today by not getting a latte and making coffee here for the Road, she said something like “That’s the sane way…”
I thought the wording was odd, but appropriate, obvious. Yes, she’s right. Why go to fucking Starbucks on a day like today or any other day, wait forever for one of the simplest drink orders, a latte, only to have it wrong.
Sanity, indeed. Need more of that, for sure. Last night talking about everything with Ms. Kerri… work, money, religion even, how life changes…. She brought over some Oliver’s appetizers and a Chenin Blanc from Husch, Mendo County. Was perfect. No flaw, in anything. She asked if I’d had it before I said no, only their Pinot a while back. So fast, it just passed us, the time. And here I am, about to be on the Road and already having sent her a stretched confessional text.
Noticing my writing changing, much because of Dad, and Uncle Stevie and the letters we threw back and forth, but singularly me. From here, last night and this morning, all expressions are to be epistolary. So who am I writing to?
You, reader. Or me… or Jack Kerouac, or Plath… or the Universe. OR… the journal itself. The journal is always there for me, inviting and open… like yesterday logging how many times I texted Kerri, and what time it was, telling the page that I was about to make another call, try and start a conversation, get myself some new Multifamily lead.
It’s something interesting when you’re if not proud of yourself then specifically please with what you did. I am… this day will not introduce ANYTHING negative. I won’t allow it. And, I realize, the day never does. It’s interpretation, how we value and elect to see where we are and what we’re doing, what’s occurring around us.
5:44, have to get gas. Should probably make my coffee— OH, and get Henry’s blanket, and leave.
HAPPINESS…. What I’m feeling now, 5:45, in a way I haven’t in weeks. Grateful.
Espresso done… watch what I do with the day.