journal

1-29-23

8:02

Leaving for St. Helena in about ten.  More and more I think I’m going to quit these tasting room gigs.  For good.  I could have the whole day to myself, writing, and finally getting out there to the vineyards or coast or wherever and take pictures.

Anyway, here I am.  Might stop with this coffee in a couple sips and get a latte from Noto.  Been a while since I have and with my obsession, new obsession with small businesses… why not.

Yesterday was gentle, kind, educating in a number of ways.  Just what I needed it to be, thankfully.  I’m writing today the same way, even if it gets busy in the TR, I don’t care I’m going to enjoy MY day.  We should all gift ourselves these sorts of statement.  And they are declarations, no measly cliché affirmations.

Looking out the window, frost on each roof.  The drive will be gorgeous, can’t wait.  But already sad ‘cause I know how quick it’ll pass.

…..

Home, waiting for people from winery to be over for a bit for wine and snacks, then walk to the Green for dinner.  The drive to Napa today…. Don’t have time to get into it.  And the day of course passing mercilessly.

9ers lost, whatever.  I owe my uncle a letter.  Will start it later tonight.

Drink Coffee Write Books Be Happy… telling Chris at work about my life plan. And it will happen, I affirmed.  Time passing quiet, with no concern…

So I lose my concern.  I stop caring.. drop the baggage, like Chris said today in a beautiful conversation we had at day’s beginning.

In nook sipping one of the Imperial IPA’s Deschutes makes.  Window behind me open.  Left the heater on, shit.  Was like a cooker when I walked up the office stairs to loft.

Grateful for this condo, this town, tonight, all of today… the Orin Swift wines and his story, David’s…. One of the stories I hear was that he realized if he was working so hard for someone else, it’d be better placed working for himself.

Exactly my thoughts.. now.  RIGHT NOW.

Missing my parents, my sister, Kerri… I know I’ve been closed off and down of late.  But that changes… I scold self with “Remember what you said about 2023???  Fearlessness and GRATITUDE???  What the fuck happened to that?”

Nothing…. I just needed a brighter point of placement.  And now it’s here.

GRATEFUL.

This St. Helena picture magnifying my current feeling, the story of wine, my story in and of and for and from wine – the tasting rooms, all of them – from St. Francis to Kunde, Arista, Dutcher Crossing, Sanglier, Lancaster and Roth and now Swift… I’m persuaded by my own passion, the day’s prose.

Actually looking forward to the morning SF commute, landing at One Maritime, being in the office with the calendar, the prospecting I assign self…