Didn’t work on any of my essays or the WASH story last night as I wanted to. Was lazy…. Had dinner, then some wine, then watched an episode, or 1.5 eps, of Sopranos. Told myself I’d study the tones and anything for business I could take away. Did find something… mindfulness of money. Don’t waste, don’t gamble for sure, and buy less and invest in your business more. Can’t remember specifically what gave me this idea, but I have the idea and running with it.
Sent flight email for the day, and I’m off, sipping oddly temp’d coffee on this small corner desk. Not even 730, well one minute till, and I’m in my running mood and mode. May get out today for a 4 or 5-miler, first since the 8 I did on Sunday. More notes, I tell myself, and shorter entries… If there’s more shorter captures of thought, and I do that more often, then there’s more advantageous angle and prosperous walk than if I sat three times to write a 1k sitting. Know I say don’t focus on quantity, word count, and I’m not really. Just more of my notes… like the one I texted to my friend Taj yesterday:
We decide the direction and
intensity of our
from mood and
Need to write more poetry, as I say earlier in this journal, and more notes, more unpolished musings and jots, thoughts, the throws of the Now when I’m thrown in the throw itself.
Jack on his learning program in the kitchen. Any minute now he’ll ask for breakfast, I’m sure. Just under 90 minutes till I can start calling. Want to create my own leads, not depend on the company or some IT partner, or anything really other than my own onus and drive.. ME.
The coffee working, even though it tastes in a way I don’t quite prefer, but I sip anyway. Should rain today, would love to run in the small drops like the other morning. Like in the note to Taj, deciding my direction and beat.. and today, not only will I not be hesitant to pick up the phone, but I’m going to time self, each time I sit down and for how much I sculpt, PRODUCE. Alive and awake, new story already taking shape…. The Newness of each day is the invite, I realize with the rain arriving, causing me to turn head right and see the drops and the little puddle on the part of the driveway that slopes down.
Keeping self starved for more directions, more opportunities… like the saying the ones you create for yourself, blah blah…. More than that, just creating, the act of making something from YOU. That’s where I am this morning. Last night in class my energy was exceptionally aggressive and vigorous, eager for activity. One student even remarking that my “response game is strong”, how quickly I addresses a comment or sub-post from one of them.
7:50am, Jack yawns, and I need a latte. Need? Not really, just want to drive in the rain, listen to a beat or two, see what I see, see what I think, what ideas follow me back to this desk. Not gambling with even one sliver of a second, ever.