Settling into a steady motion.

Being in house with some much moving, so much not so much commotion but just SO MUCH, I find myself going here and there and up when I think of going in even more directions.  Seeing that the day is a time for notetaking, not formal prose.  The paragraphs are to form earlier, much earlier, and then later in the evening….  Daughter learning through headphones, Jackie in a Zoom with his teacher and class.  Her voice annoys me.  Know that’s horrible to say, but I’m just going with the material provided in visual, right here in the house.  Her voice, and all that background noise, then when my son speaks I’m calmed.  He reads a story about a fictitious character called “Flat Jack”.  He goes on a trip, and the trips turns into an adventure where he sight-sees, goes to lunch, I think meets a politician and a security guard.  Then He goes swimming in a Bay somewhere and hunts for, or looks for, seashells.

Lunch soon, then some more letters and notes.  Hard to grow business in this state, but not.  Pledging more visual voice.  People and their moods are volatile right now, I understand.  Mine is too from time to time but I snap self out of such with self-notes.  More inward jots, on writing… writing more.. playing with form, notes and little poetic escalations and echoes.  Desk continues to clutter, then I just move it, so the clutter moves, doesn’t go away.  Thinking of my eventual office, and where I’m going to put the desk.  Not by a window, as a view will only pull me from what I’m trying to do. Think I read somewhere that Tobias Wolff has that kind of attitude when it comes to writing space or office area.

Jackie still on his call, Emmie where she has been, and me having time to collect.  Standalone piece before the day’s out.  Fiction, or non, about the tasting room….  Okay.  Just started something.  A short story.  So yes, fiction.  And I’m a self-said essayist and diarist.  Something different, new, and that’s what I need.  That’s what this quarantine has done for me.  And like the Director reminded me, “Definition of insanity…. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” True.  So, this piece, I’m thinking… hmmmm… 300 words.  I’ll trick myself into writing something longer.