New Year starting with Jack getting sick, some sort of stomach bug or virus or something.  Melissa upstairs with him in bed watching a Harry Potter movie at little Kerouac’s request, and me down here with little Emmie as she plays with Harry Potter Legos and shows no sign of slowing or letting with her in the moment and breath to breath plot twists and turns and circle-arounds.

Grading WILL be done by end of day.  Will write students in a bit and let them know about my plan to have their grades posted by end of business on this first day of a new year, and I think decade.  I guess technically yes.  Latte nearly done, and I just listen in to Emma speak each character’s lines, how she moves each character one way or the other, then goes into more words, more lines.  Her in-the-moment inventiveness gives me ideas for my AE story, for MY business blogging, and several other dimensions and ideas.  First thing written today was ‘Design A Day’.  Playing with the phrase and word order in a multitude of molds.  First, design the day you’re in, meaning design each hour and each aim in those hours.  Then, each day there is a design to be written.  On this first day of 2020 I’m with unique sight and life in my now-design.  My Now, now.

Have to drive up to parents’ house to pick up something, then from there may get a cup of coffee, or maybe even a sparkling water somewhere. Starbucks at 12&Mission, and grade.  Start DESIGNING next semester.  Speaking of, I do plan on this being my last term at SRJC.  Well, possibly.  It saddens me thinking I’m not teaching there anymore.  But it has to happen eventually I guess….

Ran upstairs to get Melissa’s mocha, come back down here and heat it up a bit then back upstairs to deliver, check on Jack, Jack reaching for me, “I love you, Dada…”

“I love you too, dude.” I answer back. “Anything you need, let us know, okay?”

“Okay.” He answers, softly and with more life than he had earlier.  Wondering if he ate anything funny but no only the same ravishing apps Melissa got us.  So I’m at a loss.  And at a loss of strength seeing him get sick, and not being able to do anything.  Luckily, Melissa is right there with him, refusing to leave his side.  Now back down here listening in on the play Emma directs, I only smile and laugh a little at how amused and amazed she is by like 5 or 6 little Lego men place atop a box standing upright, the box to the Lego set itself.  “You go fiiiiii-iiii-iiiirrrrrrr-rrrrr-ssssssstttt.” In a mock-echo tremolo voice.  I laugh again, ask her how she’s doing, she turns around just gives me a thumbs-up.  Laugh again.

Self-study, in this new year.  Same way I study Sonic and what it embodies, how it came to be.  I’ve always expressed amazement, since my first week in the office, how a tech company made me more a devout, routine writer.  Going further into this amazement, this act, how Mike Madigan is changing shape and tone in character and how he thinks.  He turns 41 this year—And with the fashion of object consideration, deconstruction, any type of analysis, Sonic showed me and repeatedly reminded me of the value in seeing me not as me but as a character in a story.  Growth opportunities and invitations, doors and windows for Mike Madigan to not just walk through but explore from.

First day, first design, jump immediately into the song, the music, the beat and only beat you wish to keep.  An influx of redux…  Write more in 2nd person.  Play and make things up in the moment just as Emma actuates and annunciates her play, her characters and what she wants them to do.  She sells nothing, only does.  Makes the play proceed.

Tomorrow in the office, send more emails than I ever have.  Everything written, everything more concise.  Less is better, yes, but more so the focus in effectiveness and rich communication in brevity’s clef.  Each day in this new year to have a singular word, octave and sight, life.  Today, PLAY.  Just play… enjoy each scene, each hour, just as I do each of Emma’s words and bits of spontaneous and in the moment dialogue.

10:57.  Emma asks for a band-aid for one of her toes, even though she doesn’t need one I go on a hunt.  Don’t find one.  Back in the chair.  What next in my play, in this first day.  Post to all blogs then take notes on D.A.D., Design A Day.  Today, movement, stay moving.

Emma finally retires from her play, and demands to see Melissa and Jack.  Hurries for the stairs with a galaxy-wide smile, and humming.  Mom once told me I have more than enough to write about just with the kids, and an old friend told me in 2011 when we first met that when Jack is born I should write about being a dad.  And here I am with a near-8 year-old and a spunky little 4.  Smile to self, and even with the rough or sickly start to the new year, this is a new year.  One to study, build, compose, PLAY.

The kitchen quiet and I miss Emma’s little voice speaking for the Potter Lego colony but I have my own voices to listen and contribute to.  Mike Madigan, new character and form… write about self objectively as I did when the Field Sales Supervisor noting certain activity, punctilio, and dialogue lines in the Field, discoveries and revelations, the Leads with their monthly aims and me encouraging them and asking for a little more explanation in certain points and parts.  My aim today is to write the DAD plan, more or less even if small jots and fragments.  Today, playing but quite intent in this new year—Getting my own office, not just ‘close to it’.  Travel…. A bigger house for the family.  Getting rid of that goddamn Prius.  Don’t stress, I remind self.  Just play.  Enjoy the day.  Enjoy the music.  And, Mike will.  With new Sight and Life in his Now.