from a journal


Taking notes on sales, and selling, my Enterprise story.  Reminding myself of certain basics, specific fundamentals in this role.  Went out earlier and did some canvassing, stopped in on some businesses, two of which I do know quite well. Two invitations for conversation.  I will inventory each step of my approach and communication.

Doing a new timeline, or rather re-do my current timeline.

Day 80 of project.  Close to the autopilot that I set out to feel and embody.  Close, still need to fiddle and explore Salesforce.  Not sure why I let that hold me in place.  And yes, I allow it to stress me, and lower my self-estimation.  Why.  No more.  IT guy standing next to me eating a donut, talking to me and telling me about his wife’s business, in Marin, in Novato where our infrastructure is lit up.  Wrote down company name, where she works, and another lead..  That’s how it happens. Not all the time, but it did just now.

Rest of day… calling, emailing.  Not so much looking for vendors but passages to transacting, converting.

4:08 and still going.  Not slowing even slightly.  Sipping sparkling water as the caffeine from the cold brew I chugged on my drive to Bennett Valley Road is still quite seismic in my system, along my nerves in my finger movements, me typing on this board.

Planning out tomorrow, with 4am rise, then getting here early if I can.  Nothing on calendar, yet.  Hoping to get down to Novato, possibly.  Early tomorrow.  Has to be early, earlier than normal.  Looking around desk, did I forget anything, am I forgetting anything.  I’m overthinking, I know.

Call, got excited, thought a sale, but wrong number.  Not using the word “funnel”.  Now, collective conversation.  Or just ‘collective’.  Not obsessing over a name or word, just going to move, do.

Feel like today’s a wide and rounded, rich re-write for me as a person in “sales”.  And I have to be honest, I’m starting to really hate that word.  SALES. I’m not selling anything.  And I’m not going to use the word “educator” as some salespeople do, saying “I’m not a salesman, I’m an educator.” Well, if you have to qualify, then that’s cause for question.  Then no name, no category.

Need to write more about Sonic, it’s personification and narrative, its tangibility.

Sonic is the template, the paradigm, the puzzle and panacea. I’ve always thought that, but now I see that even more.  Shit, still have to move some papers from my incubator work area, where I was.  Sonic as an internet company, is also something that’s a blend or intersection, or creatively combustive collision of questions and trials, whim and writing, and just blind movement.  Why not just try, and think so fucking much?  I’m seeing it now, and funny as I had some inner talk this morning, something in my character telling me that today was going to show me something, teach along already laid lines.  And now I’m here, nearing EOD and not wanting to leave.