Asked myself earlier if I regret becoming an English Instructor, if I resent the adjunct reality I’ve found myself in and if I ever wonder “What if?”. What if I would have majored in business, what if I would have done Anthropology? What if I never would have gone to college and just started my entrepreneurial— no, BUSINESS— efforts right away? Well, I did what I did, and I have ZERO regrets. My life as an adjunct is now controlled, only teaching at one campus, two classes but next term I’ll only have one, at a time that works for me and a section I do very much want to teach. I have no regrets. The adjunct life inspired me to go outside it. I’m outside it now, writing for a living, creating— blogging and photographing, telling stories, becoming fluent in business and finding new ways to not only tell stories but build and maintain stories. I also asked myself, “So now what?” Well, what I want. I’m going to do what I want which is own my own creative marketing business. Well, I already do, but now I get to (only having one class to teach next term) invest time into building and maintaining and expanding my story. Many adjuncts live in a ball of resentment, both toward self and the institution, toward their students and their commutes and their pasts. I can’t live like that. My counsel to them: Either leave, or get creative. Creativity solves everything. Creativity fused with versatility WILL solve your knot.
In my shared adjunct office as I always am, Wednesdays, giving self some time to work on content and creative pieces for clients. Going into a new year, and I’m new. I’m not the adjunct I was, and I don’t think I ever again could be. I’m too Me, now. Too individualized, too individualistic, too happy where I am. My business revolves around happiness. That’s it. That’s my business plan, just to be happy. Not “content” as so many people love to say. To be content is to be settled, to have settled. I settled for nothing. I fought back. Not against the institution or these department chairs, or the cocky full-timers that roam the halls, but against an old me, an old me who only aimed to stability, to be comfortable. He didn’t aim to be excited or uniquely electrified by each day. This Me is a ME. One emphatic and emphasized in his precise emphasis. Now I ask myself, “What else can I do?” Answer… “Everything.” Anything I bloody want. Looking around this office I wonder what my eventual office will look like— OH, just remembered I have to invoice a new client. Life is changing. I have this adjunct stint to thank. Nearing the end of this semester a new one will start, only one class and several clients… one business, that’s mine. Stay creating, I tell myself. It will solve everything, build new roads for you and untie all knots. (12/7/16)