NaNoWriMo soupçon …

…no spending for the day.  But anyway I have time for me, looking through the pictures of the vineyard I visited this morning, abandoning my conviction of running all morning.  Glad I chose what I did.  I needed to not just break pattern but angrily attack it.  Also part of my rationale for letting the English 100 group go early.  I just needed this time, time for me to collect as a writer and business-whatever I think I am.

I start to slow but then pick self back up again, going from picture to picture, realizing I want to take more pictures, tell more stories for wineries and build a business—  I mean, actually help build businesses.  Wine is still teaching me, not just about wine and the business or “industry” as so many repeat, but about me, what I want, what makes for a more symphonic life.  I’m at the head of a conference table, imagining myself at the head of a conference table in my office, my creative operation that I’ll be running soon— or, that I already run but will expand into an office of its own.  When I’m in that office, I’ll have a pile of notebooks filled with notes, with my scattered stormings, my wildly creative conceptions of whatever, however, whenever.  And, forever.

Out of class but still in it, in here, teaching myself to be more contained and perpetuation my latest ukase of self-understanding and education.  Wanting something, and the act of acquiring it actually being more simple…

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