I need to not-write. Just study. Wine. And everything about it. Again tonight I drank Chardonnay. Chardonnay! But one made by Katie, my sister. So does it count I don’t know. Visited a winery down the street, Bonovia, just to introduce myself and cement communication. Not sure if anything will happen and I don’t need anything specific to transpire. I went there for love; of wine; Bonovia, Russian River; Pinot and Chard [wow, I can’t believe I’m writing that, Chardonnay, and love, in the same phrase…].
Watching these wine videos with the purported experts and ‘sages’, simply pulls me to laughs. The language they use, as they’re so profound and masterful, sagacious in all qualities– I just keep watching for amusement.
Next morning, watering lawn with wandering thoughts, Mom and Dad on way to Oregon and me jealous they get to see a Road– I haven’t yet lost the thought of the stagewriting/acting character. I’ll try to give her three pages after taking little Kerouac to school. Now he watches his favorite cartoon and I try to let him be, experience his morning piece, hopefully ensuring a calm morning this A.M. and no repeat of yesterday.
Out of coffee this morning, only one cup but maybe that’s a positive as I’ll push myself with ideas, all the natural.. keep thinking of– oh bloody– I have to pickup money at Schwab this morning, a little boost till my ridiculous payday date from the JC. Maybe I could write at that coffee shop I chose that one day.. its name.. no remembrance. But either way I see things for the day and me as a writer more of these shorter entries– Tomorrow I prep for the Summer term and write the first lecture completely out so I can overwhelm the students with ideas and the reality that they’re in control of how they do. I will emphasize self-assessment, no asking me “So where am I in the class?” like so many this last term did.
7:41, and this episode nearly done.. brain everywhere and I contain it in a book, in a character, her, and what she wants and how she wants, demands, to be seen, read, on that stage and completely free. Enjoy the rest of this small cup with thoughts of her.. but she needs a name, and not the name I want to assign.. so what then??
Hate being rushed in the morning but love it, too. How ‘bout I don’t type when back from taking Jack.. I get ready, go to Schwab, furiously type at the coffee place, then to winery.. Think think and overthink.. take the Kerouac MS with me, two of them, setting them aside now.
Okay.. time to get Jack ready.. luck. you can wish. me.