9/22/14

No harm in a quick paragraph.  Something in the copy room jamming, making an awful paining sound, like the machine itself is being tortured.  I can barely listen.  Classes next, workshopping drafts, always fun.  Mocha making my stomach hurt.  Think I need to stick to regular coffee, more energy and save money, win win–

Ready for day?  No.  But the word ‘change’ kept flying around my surface and interior today, this morning right after shower.  I’m not sure in what vein, but it’s there, in theme and thoroughness.. why, WHY?  What is this word trying to tell me?  Well, be more atop assessment of students, grading, planning, and kill this blog by year’s end, put all into book and be done, but keep teaching blog alive– simplify: okay, done, settled and cemented.  Faulkner said, “The past is never dead…” True.  It’s not.  But the future hasn’t even started to slow its Self to my immediacy, so I need to wrap my words around now, my Now, the type of Now that will antagonize other chapters– the group I had yesterday morning on patio, renewing my interest in days at the winery, honestly– everything from their demeanor to their smiles, questions, the way they sipped causally and universally devoid of pretension, and talked, just talked, to me and each other.  I needed that.  Hoping they come back.

This morning, Comp Book open, 9:02AM on clock, should get more coffee, hopefully one of those dreadful lines I encountered last week or the week before doesn’t me await, anticipate– Clean my slate, change: don’t need the coffee, more caffeine, just rely on momentum innate.