Working on applications. Need a break, frankly. The rain, falling since I left Jack at Ms. Lisa’s. What’s a realistic goal for me, today? 1 app? 2? 4? They’re quite consuming, so I’m thinking one, but begin several others. Today has to be a monumental one, in getting me closer to full-time professorhood. And it will.
Back to my apps. Not thinking about anything or anyone else. Focused, and probably too caffeinated.
11:34AM. Alice coming home, ill, not feeling well. I’ll only work here at 12 & Mission for an hour or two, checking in with her by phone, constantly. Starting with the Napa Valley FT app. Committing to one a day, as to not stress Self. That’s death to any hope of being a FT-er.
Snacking on this breakfast sandwich– had to, as I was, still feel, fully famished. And my second mocha, as I’m a bit sleepy. Taking a break from the supplemental questions, as I’m blocked, or think I am. Should check in with students, by way of the teaching blog. Or see if I can send some collective email… Today, in full professor mode; Literature, student Life, campus; questions, answers; knowledge. And I think it’s ridiculous to pressure mySelf to finish an app in a day. These aren’t normal job applications, as they’re far more involved, layered, demanding, digging.. so to finish one in a day, or try, would be foolish. Like setting out to finish a large writing piece in a day. And that’s how I’m looking at these applications: writing projects, of sorts.
Posted to teaching blog. In a minute, I’ll look for another target school, then put away this laptop/devil device… Marin has an opening– And I’m interrupted by a former coworker. Nice lady, used to work on 3rd floor. She too’s at a precipice in Life, deciding to envelope herself in passion, for what she holds the deepest of passions. But this is precisely why I decided to work at home, so I wouldn’t be disturbed.. by anyone/thing. The internet’s giving me grief.. so a sign, I need to either jump into Comp Book, or change location.
This blog, dead by year’s end. Further simplify. Want to post a couple pictures of Ms. Plath to teaching blog, but I’ll wait till day’s end. OH.. almost forgot, can I send a mass email to students from SRJC site?
I can. Good. That will make this semester all the more interesting, easily my strongest performance as an educator.
Thinking in poetry, poetry bursts.. Brought my Kerouac book with. Study, then write. Have to finish this first collection [How many times have I written that very sentence? Pathetic.]. Brought Traveler.. so I can add what I wrote yesterday, in the morning, and night. Funny, first thing from this old friend that I just ran into, here, was: “What are you up to? Writing?” she said, looking down at the live laptop, open Comp Book. Think I need a change in writing spot. To bookstore? Don’t know. Should check in with Ms. Alice, see how the day treats her– or, if she’s feeling any better. Better not, though, maybe.. she may be sleeping, which would help her heal. So I’ll wait a bit.