….

Forgot my phone going to Peet’s to get the Nurse and myself lattes.  Then told her I forgot my laptop Windsor…. “You forgot your laughtop, Madigan?” We laughed, smiled at each other here at the kitchen table.  Where I am now after her leave, drive to work.

07:38…. Kids still very much asleep.  Self-care for this writer, quiet in the kitchen but it may be short lived hearing one or more of the kids moving and or sniffling upstairs.

Building the MAAP, more notes yesterday and tinkering with AI, seeing what it spits out, no dependency just play.

Reviewing prompts and scribble or type urgencies for students, connecting with journal and writing yourself the letter you need to receive today…. What words do you want to hear, or read in a text message or email or actual mailed letter…. Writing your way back to yourself, to a higher altitude of SELF…. Just brainstorming but deployment of these scribbles and jots and mumbles is nearing.

Still…. Hear a clock, and my own breathing from time to time.  No more movement from kids that I can hear.

More than merely mindful – GRATEFUL, and in the most esteemed and brightest of revolutions.

Smiling and laughing again at the laughtop word.  The Nurse unintentionally teaching me about selfcare and life and how to be better, in more ways than I can list here.

Prompt the other day in the EVERYDAY journal about the people in your life that you admire, their qualities and ways, what they say and how they act, what they’ve done…. The Nurse is my character this morning.

Smile and laugh at it all, she once told me on one of the many days I felt stumped in this fucking sales jail.  And I am, thought driving here yesterday extending from her counsel…. Not caring isn’t necessarily “not caring”, but more so refusing to let the language cut into your character Composition.

Not sure how to explain it, at least right now…. But I’m not letting the world touch this one – where I’m happy and at peace, in love… I feel my words taking on the likeness of me in the classroom at Santa Rosa Junior College, or SSU.

Like I’m waking up from a coma or hibernation, exactly what I said to the Nurse yesterday.

Calling my laptop and even this phone “the laughtop”, ever into the future.  When people start getting all serious and stressed and rah-rah about certain efforts and campaigns that I could frankly give not even a nucleus’ fuck about… I laugh.  Smile.

That’s not allowed over the wall.

Empowered in this self-talk and reflection, the writing not only mirroring but delivering sight, more smiling…. Whom is this Mike Madigan??

See???  This is the power of that NURSE.  I am not overestimating, this is a truthful connection to page.

Birds outside, fridge behind me with a light sheet metal-like purr.  Sip latte, smile, nod head, this day and all are great. 

Emma comes downstairs, my beautiful sweet perfect little girl….  I smile even louder and with a heightened conviction.

I don’t have to manifest anything…. The better attitude and translation other for me.  And all from a laughing writer at his laughtop…