4-18-25

Rough day yesterday.  This morning calm and eased, much more than yesterday.

Iced latte done, not doing much in the way of work.  Focusing on me and my happiness and peace, and if work comes at me sideways I have remarks and responses loaded.

Finding that where I am is the story – what I’m after.  Learning more about me as a character and how my mind functions, and sometimes failing in functionality.

Going over notes from the meeting with JO, what he suggested, asking me how I want to live my life.  Ideas discussed but I have not done the needed work.

Stopping that today.  This morning I could feel it, that fucking cloud and drag on my thought, like my soul was being folded without consent.  And, honestly, like my own mind and mood and being were lying to me.

Hard to understand, and even more so to explain.  On this blog or to myself or any one way.  I just acknowledge it and am confronting it.

Strength, that’s the answer.  Through journal usage.  Don’t enough time to get a degree in Psych like I was earlier daydreaming… so I write about it.  Don’t need a degree for that.  I said to myself, again and again.