17:00

Tasting done.  Took Nurse to one of our favorite stores on the square, got her a couple somethings.  She keeps reminding me that it’s my birthday weekend but I need to show her something in the way of appreciation.  And even more than that, I just want to do something for her.  She does so much for us.  The breakfast she made the kids this morning, like she does every morning, and she insists on it… I’m muted in gratitude and her kindness, so I look to me.

I have to do this for me.  Even the Nurse said that.  So, while she takes a little nap, I sip one of the beers Mom and Dad brought back from Oregon and meditate in the Nook, realize how wonderful I have it and what the fuck why am I not further in my story.

Tech and social media, blogging, self-publishing…. Visiting my friend and now OUR friend, mine and the Nurse’s, Taryn, brings me back to tasting room days.  Lancaster, FFW, and even before I met her.

I need more people. More characters, more stories, more conversations, more random intersections like today with a kind former neighbor Amy.  Always smiling, always kinds, always human.  I appreciate that, and think… what is wrong with people not like that?

Wind stronger than I thought, looking through pictures.  The Nurse and I joking but not, what a place this would be to be m—

Not rushing anything of course, but still, thinking.

Dinner later at Salt & Stone with parents and Chris, his fiancé …. My thinking too full this afternoon.

The most sweet and poetic woman I’ve ever met upstairs asleep in my/our bed.  What do I have to complain about?

Why should I ever be in any phylum or type, strip of mood?  Good question.  Toughen up.  Be more a fighter writer, more a challenger of elements that sit not what you wish with you.

Not all all divided –

My philosophy, one multiplied a thousand time by whatever’s aggressive-sided..