Tired, but excited with this new idea. 

Take a huge sip of the coffee I just made and with that, any nap trap is DEAD.

And another sip.  Took old journal from the archive, one in which I’ve only written on 5 or 6 pages.  Tear them out, file away.  This will be the real estate notes bay.  Everything from multifamily, to residential and commercial.  Any findings or ideas, possibilities, whatever.  Everything there.

Nothing written in it yet.  Where do I start?  Thinking too much… need to walk away, collect self.  Maybe even take an early nap but that’s not possible now with all this caffeine about me.

That’s giving up.  I’m not doing that.  Need to travel.  Yes, going to Vegas next week.  Doesn’t count.  Staying in chair and writing my way to something, somewhere…. I’m overthinking, I know.  It’s what I do.  But most of the time I just acknowledge I’m doing, and, well, keep doing it.  This time I’m deconstructing, what is it…. The new sales story and my intermittent optimism and hope that it’ll work out, that a contract will come in at some point however the doubt is a cloud that is quick and cunning and tireless.  Then real estate. 

What about it.

Do I want to be a realtor?

NO.  I just love properties, buildings, houses, multifamily and resi’, commercial…. Then tech.  The last company and the infrastructure build-out of 1G to 10G fiber, then the current company with all its security provisions and architecture… and the problems with installs and delivery, turn-ups, and I could go on but won’t.

I always find myself here.  Writing.  Journaling and noting EVERYTHING.  Last night the kids having me in stitches with some of their questions and remarks, little Henry playing with his cars, wanting my dad to watch when at their house then me over here on the loft floor.

Again, I’m in excess and unneeded deliberation.  Word count, who cares.  Just write till you want to stop.  Idea… ‘brb’—

I remember hearing someone say recently, addressing people that complain, “What the fuck?  Man, when I would wake up when I was coming up I was excited… I was excited…” Something like that.  Heard it at the beginning of the week and haven’t been able to shake it.  ME, the focus is me… to build and write and maintain and operate the best Mike Madigan I can for the kids.

That simple.  Singular… there is so much I have to do, so much I will do.  Text from someone at the old company… good.  Saving for book.  So much I’m saving for the book but more I need to post on this blog, regardless of how some say I should watch the words rallies to screen.  Whatever…

Happy Friday!!! I write to myself.  “Enjoy, smile, decide love and smiles…. Tirelessly.”  Thankful and humbled, grateful for this room, for Windsor, the kids and their health and smiles.  While I could attack those with an antithetical voice and frame, I don’t.  Rather, I offer love.  

Those people are the ones that make me as grateful as I am, that I am not ANYTHING like them.