There… wrote a poem.  Want to be more Kerouac-like and Bukowski-y.  Just write where I am

and what I’m doing.  On vacation with kids, single dad life becoming more real in Sunriver, Oregon.

How excited the kids were over water slides and pools and just being in water yesterday and the day before at the North Pool.  Need that mentality, not wanting so much, just pools and slides and snacks and cartoon like this morning.  I’m jealous of their priority warrant.

Why am I nervous about the river later?  The “rapids”, which ARE technically rapids but not like the kids you see in those adrenaline junky videos where people one scene are squirrel suit jumping in the Grand Canyon or somewhere like it or snorkeling with Great Whites.  I don’t know, I’m getting older and get nervous easier.

Henry playing with toys, Emmie watching cartoons, Jack playing a game.  They are concerned with NOTHING.  That, I envy.  I want to be like them… observing and enjoying my observations.  Like Mark wrote me yesterday I’ll never get this back.  Heard that before of course but his emailed sentences hit harder.

Taking a minute.  Henry walks over.  Stares, demands.