5/14/22

8:32

Yesterday, going by so fast I only have the writings and the pictures.  I credit and blame my colleagues, spending time with them at pool then going to dinner, drinks after.  No disdain, just a decision today to isolate, spend a day with self.  Mike Madigan, the new one.  Get to know him better.

Breakfast sandwich, 4-shot latte, sparkling water.  No run.  I need to preserve time as much as I can so no plan, plans, or even thinking about doing one particular thing.  Sitting at a long table, not sure I’m allowed to have my Starbucks takeout here, but I’ll wait till someone says something.  After these posts and sitting, may go back up to room and finish tallying spends for trip.

My mind and what it does now, this morning, after a shower and realizing there’s just today and tomorrow.  That’s it.  Time attacks me again as it has my whole life.  I know it’s not just me.  But what I’m thinking and understanding…

Tired.  Not sure I slept so well.  Guy passes pushing a stroller with his possibly one year-old in it.  Sales Director Mark passing and greeting me a bit ago…  8:38, move slower.  Don’t try to do or write so much, or anything.

First taste of latte…. Oh my god that’s strong, and hot.  I stop, look around at the people, feel tired.  May need a nap.  I’m off this morning and it’s from this understanding of time – that it doesn’t care, that It just moves and does what it meant to regardless of my/our injury.

Overthought, impeding on happiness.  I stop thinking entirely, here at table.  Sip my latte, LIVE.

Walk along beach, my plan.  Then maybe later pool.  And that’s it.  NO PLANS.  Pictures from last night… some I don’t remember, most yes.

Why am I in this mood and with these thoughts.  I’m in fucking MAUI.