Had lunch but still a little hungry. Could use a nap. Sure Melissa could too.
House, more than quiet. Only short lived. They’re walking back from the park I’m sure, Melissa and the little people. Wind blowing still, making neighbor’s chimes and gong-y things play their weird notes. I focus on the wine bottles on this desk, the mag of Rose and the Halleck Pinot. God I just want a nap. Let’s see where they are. Maybe I can get in one of my power’s. Texted to see where they are, no answer yet. Barely done any work today. Got to desk after nine and was interrupted and pulled from work continuously and the stuff I did accomplish is already lost in memory. Seriously, what the fuck have I done today?
Take a deep breath. There’s tomorrow. I should go for a drive, go to Oliver’s or something, look at the wines, maybe get a bottle for tonight– Emma riding her bike across the street then across the street to our house. And there you go… quiet done.
2:21, dishwasher working. Yes I’m at that age where something like that would impact my day, make me happy, give me hope – YES, something like that. Melissa reminds me she’s taking the kids to their little CrossFit class at 3-something, so I’ll have the house to myself. No.. I’m not napping. What are you doing then? Maybe going for a drive, taking journal with me for a beer date.
Need to find time to read. OH, and there’s that new author I want to start reading. What’s her name. Can’t remember. Ugh… yes. Be around books. Go buy books. READ MORE.
Dishwasher sound making me sleep. I am an old man.
No you’re not. Stop saying that. You’re tired, this is how you get. More coffee… doesn’t sound appealing. At all.
Why do I always have a paper towel crumbled on this desk? What is that about, what does it suggest? And a mask, one of those disposable blue ones. I seem to attract clutter. Need to quit the desk. Use the couch like I quibbled with myself at the beginning of covid.
No one on street, not even the annoying neighbor kids. Notice myself sitting uneven, oblong, like I’m uncomfortable (which I am) and anxious (which I also am), and tired (am). Don’t want to look at the this desk anymore. Stay awake, I tell myself. Make yourself, see what you reaction is, what you write when you force yourself to be uncomfortable.
Just did a thing from work, to convince myself that I did SOMETHING. One of the kids up from their nap, heard whomever it is open the dryer door. Power nap… see? They took one. I need one. Goddamn me, why do I keep thinking about sleep?
And just like that, I’m awake. What the fuck? Not going to question. I’m here, I’m awake, I’m going to finish the book in the next 24 hours somehow and take over the world. I don’t want to take over the world, too much work. Just keep moving.. get to travel, more wine, more books, more funny books on wine and my days like the other one where these young people from the city showed up with a fucking birthday cake. I mean, I get it, but I also thought “What assholes.”