Should just set timer, so I know I had five minutes. Don’t depend on him staying asleep. Jack and Emma upstairs, me down here nearly praying they stay quiet…. And I hear Henry. Just as I turn on music, Rattlesnakes by Emancipator.
Then I don’t hear him. Should go up and check anyway. No.. go now. There’s that newborn moan…
I go get him, wide away and come back to keys put him in his little chair with the toys. Safe From Harm, a track from Massive Attack. Never been much an M.A. listener, but Henry is relaxed and not making much sound, just staring at me, and then the wall.
With kids, there is plenty of time to build what you want. You just have to build the time, not “find it”. Wake earlier, stay up later. That alone, to my remedial math ability, gives me four to six hours. FOUR TO SIX. Instead, I didn’t work last night, and enjoyed extra sleep this morning.
Henry looks at me as I talk to him, no smiles. He knows what I’m doing, merely trying to appease him and keep him more or less content while I write. This is the project, much of the startup, much of Bottledaux’s functionality. Finding time, no… BUILDING it. Making it. Knowing that you ALWAYS have time.
I look quickly at Henry as to not make any contact of eye, he looks up but not before I refocus and situate on screen. “A Tunnel For Jack”, Lemon Jelly. Never heard this track, or of this group, their work. Can har this in the office, the Bottledaux office in San Francisco right there on Embarcadero, looking out at Alcatraz and realizing the world I’m in, the one I’ve helped build.
“Purple”, Henry’s toy says. He grunts in concentrating dive, looking at everything closely with analytic angle and shape, music to his visual and effort.