journal

10:53

No one biting.  Calling, but. nothing.   Call at 1pm, with a potential IT partner.  Don’t have a good feeling about the call.  Like she’s going to try and sell me on something.  Happened before, with this one guy I met at a conference in San Jose.

Worried, as how long can this go on…..  I need another check like the one I got today.  Do I give Wed Design another try?  Graphic design?  Re-invent myself while writing, write a new story, one where I’m not depending on a check, where I write my own checks?

Thinking of making a sight for ME… a project around my CV, a couple letters.  I’m overthinking it.  Stop thinking and just do…. Telling self over and over to this latte.  To the cover of Bukowski’s On Writing, bought last week or week before from Amazon, arrived yesterday.  His letters, his town, his utter lack of worry or self-shackle, at least in what I’ve read so far.  This teaches me, re-iterates and re-emphasizes to my persona and quasi-poise during this covid movie….  Send more letters… more communication, more tone, more attitude.  Will find a business and try….  Try a creative marketing firm.  Or ad firm.  Something in the city.  All the business in the city have money, and time.. they eat at amazing restaurants and walk along the Embarcadero all day generating ideas, I’m sure.  Stereotype, one I wish was ME.. my work day and week and life and right bloody now.  I’d take my break by walking the Piers, listening to the seals, the people, the tourists and all their languages.  There is no covid.

Need to finish my ‘Wine Isn’t a Big Deal’ essay, or note, piece, sketch, monologue… maybe later today.  Don’t want to run.  Want to lunch.  Or brunch.  No.. go for your run.  At noon.