Coffee, iced, and me wondering what the next step is. For everything. Didn’t run this morning, and I’m in a lull, a stall, one of those self-contained mood halls. Running tonight, after visiting with Mom & Dad and Emma…. Five more minutes to self, to write. At lunch, writing more. Did a little work on book last night… want it to be more notes and shorter paragraphs and not just those huge Kerouac-y waterfalls of thought and meditation, observation. Not saying here’s anything wrong with that style, I just can’t do it as he did.
People in Starbucks here in Windsor, beginning their days as I do mine. Last night’s wine, SB, crisp white wine that I see myself sipping wherever Jack and wife are, on the water, on vacation. Imagine that, “vacation”. For me. Not that it would be a vacay as so many reference but I would be away, relaxed and with notebook. I could do that. I’d let myself do that. Work-life balance.
Sipping iced-coff’ slow. Relax, I tell myself, stop pressuring yourself… be easy, eased. Today, my Thursday, in my wine business life that is. Teaching tomorrow… have to grade and plan. I’ll get to it when I get to it.
One minute over budget…. Was working on management log. “The Log Book”, as Dad refers to it. “Someone’s gotta sign the log book.” He said the other night. I’m that log book signer. Today, Day 2. Considering this not just a challenge but a writing project. A book. I will submit a short book to those that would, when the 60-day “trial” is over. And, it’s just as much a trial for them as it is me. And I note that with respect, humility, gratitude that I was selected for this opportunity. Me, a “manager”. Still have a hard time saying that. So I won’t. I’ll just do my job.. lead… teach and learn and teach myself how to be better in this stationing, context.