On lunch,

14:16…. Been writing, but not as much as I’d hoped.  Odd day.  Slow.  And when it’s slow at a winery you start to go mad, a bit quirky and funny-acting.  That’s where I am.  But what I’m learning is to force myself to write, which I was doing right before clocking out.  So now I’m in the office writing while the winemaker has a meeting with either an electrician or serviceman of some kind.  Tempted to eavesdrop, hear more of what they’re talking about, but I can’t.  Need more points of discussion for class, come Monday, and I’m wondering if I SHOULD take the SSU section.  Feel like whatever I will decide will determine something significant in my life— some term or tone, some angle or pace.  Most of my character tells me to NOT take it.  To move on, put SSU in the past and only go back to lecture if invited, for a day, or series of speaks.

Over 23 minutes left in break…. Hope Students enjoy HST, his writing and journalistic oddity.  More notes in my little notebook than I thought, one of them reading “Before anything starts, collect.  Collect your thoughts, feelings, your understanding and Self.” The time we have with our work isn’t forever, so what we do devote to reading, writing, reacting, all our projects, needs a precise intensity.  So, collect.  Have been urging students in these first two meetings, and for about three or four semester prior to this one, to collect themselves in writing (in journal) before speaking out, responding to one of the conversation invitations.  More and more collection for me, after this first week.

Another note: “Literature begs sincere human truth.  So in our search for freedom & suggestions of freedom, we should think of our understanding of things.  Matters of all types.  We more clearly recognize with what we connect.” I re-approach teaching in a way I haven’t thought to.  And I growl at self that I’m only doing this now, at 38, but I’m teaching myself to teach.. to be a student… to be be one of thought, knowledge.  Reading, Writing… growth in thought.

Plan on asking students Monday—  How is HST interacting with you?  If you’re a participant, what are you feeling?  What have your reactions been so far?  And, to what?  My teaching “philosophy” ever since I started has involved the reaction, the momentum of involvement on a reader’s behalf and more telling of what’s seen than me telling them what to see, or even what to look for.  Retention can only happen if the reader is involved, is a participatory reader and never a passive one.  I’ll share more thoughts on this participatory reading, with examples from the HST text, where you can get more involved, etc.  Definitely, no on the SSU class.  And, I will write that letter, that statement on how it’s not professional, helpful, or anything positive to offer classes at the last minute like this.  No… I’m not wasting my break talking about adjunct hell.

Now just over 6 minutes.  Listening more to others in room with me, their talk of traveling back to WI on a sales trip.  I, me, this writer, about to be 38 this year, needs his travels.  Would the SSU class get me closer?  No.  Not in any stretch of convenient consideration of its impact.  Now, what I can do on Tuesdays, after my 07:30 1B, with the whole day to me.. what I could write, what I could create, how I could grow my publishing and other businesses…. That WILL be what gets me to the Road.

Now I’m hungry.

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