5/2/16, conclusion

Already posted too much to blog.  I think 7 times.. sorry, readers.  Sipping decaf, and WAS eating a chocolate-chip granola bar, while editing, typing.  Tired, but I need to get to a certain word count, and I need more coffee.  Another granola bar.  Have a bedtime set for Self at 11:30, as I want to strike a major blemish to the 4AM hour.  This has become a war with time, a new front in the larger war against aging.  And after learning about that old friend with his company and all his followers, I need to be that fighter I mentioned earlier.  Yes, more coffee, some more reading and research.  Not much to narrate as I’m just sitting here in the home office, typing, looking at some Jackie clothes Alice placed on the desk.  Where’s my brainstorming sheet from earlier?  UGH…  I’m so fucking disorganized.

My political writing.  More.  Saw a clip today where Ted Cruz was confronted by a Trump supporter.  The supporter kept on repeating “Lyin’ Ted, Lyin’ Ted…” Just the kind of person I’d expect to see at a Trump rally.. uneducated, belligerent, immature.  I have to give it to Mr. Cruz.. he remained composed, and at one point asked the “gentleman” if he could say something, meaning actually participate in the conversation, and the nitwit just said “No.” Trump mirrors his supporters, and they him.  I don’t find it sad, sick, or even scary.  Just strange, that something like this, this spiral of political activity and support of any candidate with such crippled understandings of everything, could occur in this country.  Watching the clip again, I almost feel sorry for Mr. Cruz, which I never thought I’d say.  Need to write more.  Need to read more.  CNN sends me their “Nightcap” political pieces.. need read them all.  Have an HST affair with politics.  I don’t support Clinton, but I will vote for her.  Feel like I have to.  It’s my only option, so…

10:42.  Too late for another coffee, bar.  Need sleep if I’m to pocket a victory ‘gainst 4AM.

Sleep sounds amazing right now.  So I will.

In a few.

Next morning, day, collect self up the street from the winery.  List objectives for day:

-post something every hour

-take notes in little pages


Have to keep moving.  And selling.. what do I want to sell?  Services.. copywriting/editing, writing lessons, personalized instruction.. and I’ll start there.. journal my journey to total Wellness.  Have to get rid of the wine world, I’m thinking.  But not just yet.. I love Dutcher, all the people and the property.  But the wine itself I no longer touch.  I can already feel myself changing after two days of no wine, beer.  A more honed and urged sense, universally.  More fearlessness.  I know where I’m going, what I want (as I’ve written so many hundreds of before times).  But now, I take an elevated step.  Not keeping that same evenness, flying at the same altitude.  I’m gaining elevation by not sipping wine or beer.  But 4AM, my foe, again this morning striking a victory on its tally board.  I have tomorrow, and I have the motivation of the 730 English 5 class.. get a head’s start on them.

Still can’t believe my past friend, CZ, COO of a company that appears to be doing well.  I have to change, and drastically, immediately.  Distance myself further from any contaminants—  In fact, eradicate them, as they ally with 4AM.  So I pick up the mocha here in my car parked off the road’s side, by the dam, and think about the day, what I’m about to do and where for the next eight bloody hours.  WHAT I WANT…  Just words, notes, evidence that I’m thinking, proof to myself that I’m gaining elevation.

Didn’t pack a lunch today.  Shit.  But that’s a possible boon, with the motivation and discipline associated with hunger (Hemingway).  No, it IS a benefit to me, my day, my separation from the sameness, the pattern.

5 more minutes on this Road’s side.  Maybe I should just leave now.. get on the clock, start taking notes, noting, posting, everything from the regular images to the unexpected.. whatever delivers happiness, revised Personhood, ZEN.  Learning as I go…..