5-30-25
Long day. Adventure into the jungles north of Cancun, diving into Sinotes and some oceanic inlet where we saw who knows how many fish and the scene’s entirety. 17:39 and typing on the iPad keyboard. Not my favorite but I haven’t put much to page since getting here. Long drive out and another back. Me falling asleep on drive back to resort. Nurse and I now just in room relaxing and collecting, me just out of shower and needing a journaling collection moment, pause, meditation.
Not minding how quick the time passes while here. Be mindful and as far into every moment as I can go. Didn’t run this morning, and I scold myself just as I do losing my fucking Giants hat and shirt at one of the sites today. Ugh, it’s frustrating but like the Nurse says, let it go.
So, I just decided to stop. Stop complaining and beating myself up. AND, stop making excuses for not writing and running. Stop with all self-obstructing and defeating habits.
Nurse about to get in shower, she tells me she’s surprising us with some room service options after a lackluster stop at a bar or grille by the pool. We spent all day there yesterday, dancing and enjoying cocktails, talking and meeting people from other states. What this trip is doing to me, hard to list or paragraph. She just a second ago before getting in shower asking me if I’m having a good time. I tried to give her some elaborate and affectionate, syllabic answer but didn’t even try.
I’m unable. All I have is what I feel. Me-Meeting a bit ago in closer organizing my clothes as to avoid another fucking misstep like today. This room upgrade is perfect for a writer… living room, arena-like closet, tub in bathroom and two balconies. I credit the Nurse and her business prowess and strong will for securing this.
She now in shower and the writer with a charging laptop, using the bed as a desk with chair beside. Can’t remember when I was this alive and free-feeling. On our way to the jungle stopping in a town for a break, coffee stop and if anyone needed a snack. I shot a video and took some pictures. One a selfie with me and the fucking Giants hat on. Shared my frustration with the Nurse and she said “I bet it made some kid’s day to find that hat and now he can wear an awesome SF Giants hat babe, you probably made his day so stop.”
And so, I do just that. No overthought or even mild meditation. Just fucking stop. Move on. Nurse finishes her shower just as I’m writing an idea from a little storm of rushed phone typing on the ride out. An agency – branding and micro-content. Me as client one, then maybe my friend with her shop in Windsor.
18:01 ::::: closing laptop in a bit. Everything is something to build from, the ride out, the Canadians sitting next to us and next to whom I fell asleep coming back here to Sunrise… So much travel to do. Nurse and I, our life story and pursuit.
Logging off, posting more shots…. The flower earlier, and later our promise to ourselves of a night or downing sun beach walk, slow.