12:22

Writing in a spot I used to years ago.  Impossible to word how this writer feels.  Nothing can touch me, seriously.  Fearless, grateful…..  The Nurse and her love is what brought me here.  I’m convinced.

Yes, I did a little, but who snapped me out of my stalls and self-imposed lulls?  Who was always there loving and encouraging and coaching where needed….?  I’ll wait…..

Halfway through the day and I don’t want it to end.  You want to know what it’s like to feel mentally ALIVE and health?  THIS…..

Throughout the day, since I walked through the doors – love and gratitude and kindness to me shown… surprise that the professor’s back, that I’m ME again.  I don’t know what to say.  Like I’m out of a grave or something.

12:25, typing faster than I should maybe.  No, let it ride.  I’ve bought the tucked now this smile is on my forever.  Enjoying the Ride… the ROAD.  Hunter and Kerouac and Plath about my mental map and tangible written act.

Calming myself but it’s difficult.  Thinking of going for a quick walk, but I want to enjoy this writing spot.  I deserve this… I fucking deserve this and this level of high-voltage happiness is not leaving.  “I’m not going anywhere.” I just told someone here in the kitchen, my old SE.  He congratulated me and said there was no one better for such a Story… what can I say, but say nothing and write it ALL.

Lite lunch for the writer today, didn’t want to spend too much time eating.  More writing and reflecting and taking this all in.  Celebrating this much-needed Story shift.

Looking out the window and thinking of years ago when the first book started.  Huh….  Like it was imagined.  But it wasn’t.  THIS, isn’t.  I’m here, living it.  This is where another book, the most crucial and fantastic ball is lit.

You should never be penalized for your smile, for your happiness, your peace.  Not sure why this idea is not becoming something adhering and core-coded, but it’s all I can think about.  Who would object to how I feel today, and since the week started?  Who would log it as an offense?

Who would even fucking comment on it?

I know, but they don’t need to be known.  What is shining is this booth, this table.  ME… I’m fucking shining right now and I’m taking time to celebrate those in my row like the Nurse and others who smile alongside.  A visual orchestra of elation, celebration, new elevation.

Forgot about the snack shop they had here.  Still a bit hungry, maybe a water, small healthy snack.  Take it all in I tell myself and don’t qualify or define for others and definitely don’t fucking apologize for scowling mud worms.

Training myself to not hear some voices.  Not even ignoring them.  The voices do not connect.  There’s a distinct and intrinsic incompatibility… and I love it.

12:39 should post this soon.  See who else I can see.  More smiles, please.  More words of love and welcome, kindness and genuine connection.

HAPPINESS, imagine that.