3/21/25

Friday.

Finally…

Emma still asleep, Jack and Henry still up.

Today is going to be deciding, I tell myself.  Told myself several times driving to Noto for the Nurse’s and my coffee dose for the morning.  Good conversation last night, several messages exchanged with one lead.  Will re-read them in a minute.

Encourage, and feeling urgency.  More than I have in recent days.  Attitude, the MAAP project, or book, or practice.  Maybe it’s a meditation I don’t know.  Writing this morning in a freer form than I did yesterday.

I felt off yesterday.  I don’t know.  Unsettled and scattered, disorganized and fatigued or something.  Took a little power nap, or tried, made some coffee and that did the trick.  Met with an old friend, talked about IT and bartending.  Think I’m going to give that a shot and see where it takes me.

What interests me about it I think is the culture of it, and the creativity…. The rush and quickness of mixing and then asking for the next order.  Light research yesterday but will get more into it later, after logging off for the day.

Rambling to myself, wandering and wondering what’s next, what obstacle or opportunity.  Everything being translated as opportunity, I order myself this thinking pattern and vow to test self, hold mind to it and in this place.

MAAP, finding new tones and measures in the progression of the Story itself.  Hard to describe or contextualize to convey the truest intention of this now-Me…. Treating this as a serious project, and then I think “Okay then I have to manage ‘said’ project, be a Project Manager, if you will.”

Simplicity of the moment – here at this desk, grateful for all pillars of this atmosphere, its Composition.  Thinking of the former student I saw yesterday working a couple doors down, telling me he still writes in the same journal he used for class.

Managing my mind, making it a project.  No worry, no angst or stress, and no anger.  That has to be my Beat, always.  Gratitude softly coloring the edges of my awareness and mindful sight in this room.  Focus… project, manage it.  Be flexible, able to maneuver.

New song, small and steady and settling of new SELF into presence and ease.

Meeting set for next week, telecom.  No reaction from me, then I think of something.