Going in later, and not happy about it.  Trying to believe in myself more, as urged by Nurse.  She’s right.  I get in these cognitive knots, these spells of mood mud and they’re becoming harder to combat.

Going into today in another workshop lap and modality.  Today’s workshop aim – write SELF only with favoring lines.  Me, one of conviction but I’m scattered at times. No worry, use it to cover more ground, taste more realities and moments, more Beats for your innate Beat.

What I really want to do….  Hard to say anymore.  And I’ve never felt like this.  But here I am.  This is a positive… new sight and urgency, necessity giving way to expansive invention.  Reinvention, more so.

Struggling, but fighting it.  Meeting soon, and… that’s it.  Take it for what it is, and see what he has to say, the client.  What he needs, how I can help.

And honestly, I’m saying NO to any mood or mood-mud.  New Story presenting itself to me, and before it’s obvious I didn’t acknowledge it adequately.

My conviction is immeasurable right now.  In all angles and clouds.  10:23

Little over 20 minutes till meeting.  Remembering what I wrote yesterday, pretend this is your only thing.  Make yourself think and see and perceive and estimate, translate, differently.

Today, monumental.  In a multitude of ways and meanings.  What if I could end this job stress, all of it, TO-DAY???

LoFi beats and the rain putting me in a new sense and inhale/exhale Beat.  A ‘mañana, mañana’ feeling overtakes me.  No worries about the Now, while loving it obsessively.

Day’s page written in journal, and away I go.  But where am I going?  I don’t know, and DO know.  That’s the beauty of it… the contrast and contradiction, delicious duality.