9:06

Slow into the day.  Slept in a bit.  Quiet night alone, thank EVERYTHING.  More and more, I’m finding that time to self is the, I don’t know, gift that we always ignore.  Couple things on calendar today but not much.  Driving out to Sebastopol in hopes of either writing new business or at the very least interesting business owners in connectivity.

Tiring of the same story, the same steps, the rinse and repeat of this and that.  Enjoying espresso, guy that’s going to either fix or diagnose the freezer problem coming out between 1 and 4.  I’ll leave for Seb’ at like 10:30 or something, maybe get a coffee there in the Barlow.  An overpriced coffee to be sure.

Put 5:30 workout on calendar.  Something feels odd this morning.  Wrote HAPPINESS PROJECT sentence.  Stories, new ones you want to ignite, can always be said and spoken and promise but they need be put to page and embodied ALL DAYS.

Nothing to write or report this morning, no Newness which is exactly what I need.  I’m desperate for it actually.  Some new story… thought about a novel, a wine critic who writes little blurbs and scores wines but it just sick of it. Wonder where this idea came from….

You know what, I’m driving out there early, getting a coffee and walking around.  Then I learn the prospect, a brewery, doesn’t open till 3.  Shit… okay that changes things.

Espresso done.  As you might guess, gonna make another one.  Leading myself in different reel, reality.  The apostrophe that bridges something, blends to thoughts or intentions.  No idea really what I’m saying other than that something needs to change in this story.  The AE and other.

IDEA – work at Avid Coffee in Sebastopol.  They close tat 3… get lunch out there.  Should dip into SMB envelop for this.  Or wait… think I paid for dinner last night with Debit.  Yes, but spent the $20 on SMB envelope.  Rather than take it back out I’ll hit an ATM in Sebastopol.  Think there’s a WF right upon entering the town by 12.

Pack both laptops, leave after this second espresso.  Ae laptop already in backpack, turn on some music… enjoy a couple minutes to self.  The keys feel different this morning, this laptop looks different – or, NEW.  The Newness is what I’m chasing.. new stories and opportunities, new BEATS.

The idea supporting this ‘poz loft’ is happiness, and FREEDOM.  What Dad stressed at the beginning of all this divorce mess.  I am free, but not from my own thinking sometimes.  It’s a jail, or sickness.  Now I stress NO thinking but rather just whim-driven movement.  Nothing says I have to remain behind this desk, so I’m leaving.  Then I remember I need to be here for the freezer guy at 1.  Only making one trip out there, and I’d imagine someone will be at business early or I can just leave a card. Either way I’m getting out of this condo for the day, till 1.

Still at desk, sent a couple emails.  Should get going, get out there, be seen (whatever that’ll do).  Work, what I do, what I was meant to do, put here for, etc.  Such thoughts through a writer’s head this morning to this Thievery beat and espresso… keeping self busy but not just for sakes of being so.  Looking for new symphony, purpose, manuscripts.  All of IT, out THERE.

EVERYTHING.