Allergies kicking my ass. Henry sleeping on the little mattress next to the bed, small dad victory last night. Jack coming in the room after a bad dream where he said teenagers came into the house with guns. Wonder if that has anything to do with that game he plays…
Going to SHARC today later with Katie and Nate and his daughter. No run this morning needing more sleep after being pulled from sleep at 4-something by Jack’s reporting.
Need more coffee… Instantly gripped by fantasies of waking when no one else does, 4 or 5-something. Coming out here and writing after a run. Or just writing.
Still no wine or beer…. sipping thoughts of a finished book and vacation by myself to Tahoe soon. Leaving on a Friday early and coming back Sunday night. Aim, writing and running. That’s it. Finish the goddamn book.. taking care of self– Then I realize I’d have to leave Saturday on a non-custodial weekend, when their mother gets them. I’ll take off a Monday.
The story changing, especially after a development at work yesterday which I won’t paginate. Kids watchin cartoons, me smiling looking at the coffee machine. Jack playing that game…. Playing this all like a game. ALL OF IT.
Ms. Kerri telling me she has covid but is asymptomatic. Wish this covid cloud would just pass already. Long enough, and frankly bored with it. Can’t believe I haven’t had it yet. Maybe I did and just didn’t know it. Not sure when I’m eligible for a second booster. I ask Mom and she says I can get one now. I’ll look later– Well, she’s looking now. Don’t want to think about that up here…
Sunriver, my second home. Writing base. The paths, the circles that comprise it. Yesterday riding bikes with the kids and racing Jack around that circle at the end of the street. First time I’ve rode a bike up here like that in over 20 years, easily. Like I’m 11 or 12 or 13 and my only aim is to play and relax, enjoy the bike paths and lunches at the North Course like yesterday. Just a nice casual $60-something lunch… kidding, and I don’t mind. You have to expect that here. This is a resort community which I manytimes forget.
Mom shows me a recipe for cucumber potato salad she plans on making tonight. Remembering I need to cook and that I said several times that in this new life I’d cook and have recipes in plastic sleeves and in a binder like she does. Golf too… talking to Nate the other night at the pool about starting, finding time. I’ll start with going to the driving range. Why not. Think of how short life is and how you should just do everything. I remember a New Year’s meme that said something like “It’s a new year, just do shit. Do all the shit.”
2nd cup made. In more of a groove up here with kids, excited for day, honestly. Dad telling us there’s a 20% chance of Thunder storms later. Oh my god, please!!! I have never seen a thunder storm like the ones up here when I was little. Well, except for that one lightshow in Virginia for that wedding but I’m in NO way counting that.
Can’t stop writing… in a more than a grove but a complex and rich beat. Messaging my buddy David the AE and he’s still in Michigan, sending me a picture of his workspace on a deck with coffee and view of a field, corn field I think. Yes actually, he messages me “…watching cornfields grow…” This new Sunriver mug telling me to come back up here, don’t go to fucking Tahoe. Why Tahoe? I guess ’cause it’s closer, and everyone’s always talking about Tahoe like Ditter.
David messages me…. Talks to me about the house his parents bought, and that’s where he is. Could have lived a stress-free life in paid-for house he says, “….but we decided to go on an adventure to California for a sales grind…” he says. I laugh, ’cause it’s true. Interesting he phrases it that way.
10:07 tell kids that at 10:15 we’re off our screens and getting ready for the day. Me as well. Need to post these notes… kids, them, my little characters. How they speak and change and complain and laugh. Henry walks over to me, then I get a message from Mark. He thanks me for sending in reports and tells me to log off and go enjoy my vacations with my children, using the word ‘your’ obviously both times. “You’ll never get it back.” he writes.