Thinking about everything then gripped by an anxiety or hesitant net about my general thinking. Cut through the net, I tell myself.
After the espresso make coff— Wait, there’s still some in the tumbler made yesterday for sipping int he Caddis room. Perfect. Would love to be there today, just writing and pouring, walking around the square, listening to the people talk – the loud cars, visiting couples like that French pair walking toward then past me while I brought in the tables from the intensifying drops.
Writing your way out of and through a mood… the instrumental purpose and value to Self-talk… what it does, why do it.. if you’ve never done so before (and not necessarily written), why. Why do so at all… how will you get answers from yourself? And it’s not just “talking to yourself”, but searching for inner-calm and equanimity…. Finding something, a trove of thought and direction in the decision of self-talk. I’m in the house, alone, now, thinking about all I have to get done. And it will get done, I know. So what is there to think about? And if some items weren’t met …..