Waking at 05:00 tomorrow morning.  And there can be no not-doing in this instance.

This is life or death, seriously.

13:30.  Working, kind of.  Mostly looking at ideas, educating myself on some things.  On Education, Health, journaling differently… Henry laughing and making sounds, telling me to come over there and I say I can’t ‘cause I’m working, which is only a kind-of truth.

Self-doubt and my own pessimism, more devilish than that one, or any one on their side.  Seriously… My attitude is easily my biggest problem.

It stops right now.  Seriously I’ve fucking had it.

Writing about my teaching days, SRJC and Napa, Solano, SSU, and wherever the hell else.  I remember how that would frustrate me, being a freeway flyer as they’d call us.  Then one day early in my teaching life this drift dickhead threw in my face, “…Yeah, but you’re not full-time…”

It was over the phone, just as his type of demented coward would do.  But I’m not letting that speak to me either… only the Nurse’s advice and love and encouragement.  These kinds of words from your partner???  Crazy…. But yeah, imagine that.

Friday, defining new Nows.