9/13/18

Lunchtime, dry cereal, no regrets.  And no overthought.  Not one drop of it.  Fine with my election to come here and snack and note, notes on business and business development.  Will be pitching some ideas to T after this 50-something minute break in day.  Have them written and cued in other journal, the Sonic journal I left at desk.  Realizing excess is never healthy, especially with goals and thought associated with goals.  This means planning.  My whole #professormikey brand, thinking about what I should do with it and how, and how I should have it “tagged” and categorized, marketed, whatever.  No more thinking, just doing.  Writing, education, self-education in all of this.  Who and the why of all this writing.  The story I started yesterday at the restaurant while waiting for a meek takeout order, sipping a Racer 5, about man who finds his guitar in closet, or not so much finds it but takes it out for the first time in a while and starts playing, just playing and fiddling with sounds. No thought, no real objective in mind other than the sounds themselves, he and that guitar.  See such right here, now, me at Sonic and having left the wine industry, new projects, new order, new self-orders and directions.  No more wishing.  None.

This dry cereal is really satisfying, I’m actually surprised.  A bit sweet, so I’m not all that happy I’m giving it to little Kerouac and Ms. Austen, but I learn.  And now. I eat, enjoy, relax, rite, think of the meeting by telling self don’t think about anything.  Just act, actuate, fly away into the action of it all.  It’s all the guy and the guitar, teaching himself to play, to sing to his own chords and rhythms, everything from me typing between fingertip grabs of these little squares to notes in the Burgundy Journal, to building business and more Self for myself.  Talking to a co-worker yesterday driving down to Berkeley and driving around campus, between each bite from this cereal bag.  I’m educating myself in this new business, in tech, the internet, how to sell it, how to speak it, how to speak me… and that’s all this really is, ME.  If you’re in a new job, and you’re feeling anything from nervousness to angsty, to some soul-stall, or just straight anxiety, think of you.  This is my self-advise, as yesterday I did feel a bit of uneasiness when back in office.  Not sure I can describe it, but I did.  But it was soon death’d by my assurance of self.  This is me.  I can sell me.  And if not sell then certainly speak.  Not so. Much seeing something in my story, but making there be a mood in my story.  Something elevating, encouraging, assuring.  Growth.  So pleased I didn’t get in my car and have to drive out of the business park and up Sebastopol then park in  La Texanita’s lot.  All that time would have been killed. Then waiting for my plate, and not being able to type.  Here I am, and where I need be, certainly.  My business revolves around work itself, learning, from choosing to be here in the lunchroom to packing dry cereal for self.  MY work, this, and Sonic, chasing my sight and feel of my life, what I’m doing— where I am and why.