Sat down in break room/arcade/snack shop, immediately started writing. Told self I’d grade papers on break, but not after the busy morning I’ve had. I very much deserve this meditation, this collection in words, with my paragraphs paired with leftover pizza and sparkling water wife me bought at Costco, yesterday? No. Saturday. Anyway, I think of business. This business that I’m now in, melding customer service and PR with hospitality and sales, tech, language, storytelling, everything that I am as a … everything that I am. Truly. This morning’s meetings with T showed me what I already knew but punctuated what I need more pay attention to.
I’m learning still, at my old age. Learning to learn, learning to write, write everything down, make the moment and everything in it especially at a new job my own. New knowledge, in every step and turn. No exaggeration. I can’t get anywhere close to enough, here. Of everything. From the product I represent, to the services… how do I make this my own, I think. The same way I did, and still do but on my own terms with wine. Words. Speaking. Performing to a lesser emphasis. Here. Present. My story and in my business, my business in this business, learning about the internet and why Net Neutrality is important, how I as a consumer of information is impacted. I’m learning, and that’s my fix, that’s my addiction and story.
I still have a semester to get through, and I have to get creative tonight if I’m to grade what I have to, what remains. What I had more than enough time to get to over the weekend but decided to instead write as I now do. I should be eating this pizza, taking down this sparkling water, but I collect and mediate, recover on page. Not that there’s anything to recover from. This place, this company, everyone around me in this break room put me in a cumulonimbus composition of passion and creative… how to approach prospective buyers and how to approach the office every morning. Writing down plans and goals for each day. Yes, I’m doing so each day, and assessing the writer’s progress. What I’m doing, how I grow, what I know and what I learn, how I grow from what I already know and the shapes and sequences newly-learned. Feel like my story is only NOW truly starting… that the great consolidation of things and vignettes in my greater story only now’s noted. Finally. I shouldn’t say that, though. I know.
Hunger catching me, I take a bit of the cheese pizza that I bought for the kids. My babies, missing them this morning and driving here I thought of them and felt my soul sink, that I needed more time with them over the weekend. But how could I have had more? There were things scheduled, scenes already set. Plainly, and I write this all the time, I need to wake earlier. Last night didn’t sleep all that well, so ce soir I’m going to those sheets and pillows unusually early as I told wife. See if I do it, and if I do hopefully it’ll trigger an early wake. If I make a project of 4am, who knows what it’ll do. I’m certain contribute to what I do here at the office new, this tech gem that found my story with a quickness and timeliness that very well could have saved my life, I see. In many ways. Not just hyperbole. I’m vocally convinced it did.
Have my eye on one of those canned coffee drinks in the shop’s fridge. Not sure why I’m stuck on that at the moment, but I am. I love the surroundings, here. Do I miss the walks around the crush pad, in the tank rooms, in the cave? Yes, I guess, but even those started to get old. They were just the same, replicated in each curve and angle, scent from barrels and tanks, cave rooms and tables. Even my day yesterday in friend’s tasting room annoyed me, a bit. People coming to taste wine but not really understanding them so they didn’t buy, or did but only a bottle here and there. Thinking the next time I’m in a tasting room will be when I have my own. My own flight, offerings, when I’m pouring the wines I and/or my sister’s made. Wine… still in head, don’t be confused. The industry though, as I’ve so many times in days recent said, put on the pages of this blog, is no more in my manuscript. No more counting register, drying glasses, making those infernally pestering cheese plates. No more. Sipping what remained of that Pinot last night, and not much mind you, I thought of how just a moth ago, August 10th, I was in that room. Behind the bar. Pouring for people, giving tours, walking ‘round the crush pad and strolling with a joke or two cued into the lab to greet my buddy Chris… an act I do very much miss, as I loved the wine and winemaking discussions with mon ami, Mr. Chris… talking to the winemaker and asking him about growth in the vineyard. Just under a month ago. Time, here, flying faster than anywhere else. More than enjoying myself, more than growth, but lesson that I need capture everything. Note everything, and I do as there’s a lot to this new job of mine. Field Sales Supervisor, a title which sounds rather industrial and clinical, boring and emotionless. But its not, and certainly not how I’ll make it my own.
My pep, a strain to contain, hold or quarantine. I’m learning too much, and not just about tech and the internet, client and customer relations, but about BUSINESS. Am I a business blogger, now? My knowledge need speaks from this new business I’m in. I didn’t have this on property, certainly not behind that bar pouring down a tasting flight. Meeting another fellow new hire after this lunch/typing session. I know what I’m to say, then don’t. I’ll learn from that, as well. This is all learning. My business in this business, in this office, new, is learning, helping others learn.