Not as behind as I thought in the nano novel.  My mood is in the clouds, looking down at myself and watching as I write about this character who writes only wine, how wine is his story and the framing and dimension of wine, how it’s not at all what’s in the glass.  It’s morning’s like this when I’m finally able to spend time with your kids, enjoy time in the morning where it’s just you and them.

The novel is teaching me something about me and me at Sonic, me as a writer, this last semester at the JC.

Tomorrow at the winery, will be felt in my story, and the story of the character that I’m writing.

Another thousand for nano book.  Still want another thousand to bring me over 3k, but we’ll see.  Reasoned I’ll let students go early.  Get something to eat, soon.  Finally going for a run tomorrow, at lunch.  Tech event in the city tomorrow…. Will do what I can in terms of connections and “networking”, whatever.

6:03.  Head to campus in a bit.  Need a wine to pair with dinner, but I have no idea what I want. Smell garlic, or garlic fries.  No, garlic bread.  That has to be bread.  Thinking Chinese food tonight.  Or Mexican.  Ugh… 

Need new dimension to novel…. Be more wild when writing it. It’s fiction, I have to remind self.  Make the character uncomfortable…. Or, make him, hmmmm…. What do I do.  Not going to overthink it.  That’s best way to get me to do what I always do and that’s abandon the project before it’s really or at all left ground.

Tomorrow’s run needs to be at least 7 miles. Haven’t run in a bit, doing those fucking HIIT classes, but I think I can.  If I can hit 8, I’ll see self as back in shape. MY measure, my standard, wrong as it might be.

Trying NaNo, again.  Approaching 2500 words, so I’m absolutely behind schedule. May let class out horribly, delightfully early tonight.  Have them stay in touch with me via blog and email. Give them an assignment, and hit 3000+ words for day.  Would love 3500, but I have to not write so much for this blog and more for book.  Joe, my character.  Named after….. me?  My middle name? I don’t know.  Either way, I’m writing myself through and out of this stall and slowness with a novel.

Now familiarizing self with products again, and promotions for sakes of matching whatever the prospect is paying.  Some you’ll win, some you’ll lose.  Just keep quoting, I’ve learned.

Slowing pace.  Taking a breath, or dozen.  Not allowing too much elevation too quick and conversely not permitting drastic descent.

Readying to leave.  But then I’m hit with an idea… again, going outside the box, and maybe not a box but just the immediate expectancy of things.

More than a funnel I’m thinking of, but….. something. Geographies, business types, unexpected harmonies of businesses, collaborations but even more than that.

Slowing down, but only before I make another move…

Literary lunch in breakroom.  Little bit of a lesson with me and receipts… keep them all, organize.  Don’t throw away a single thing.  There’s only clutter is there’s no organization, no system for processing.  Expenses today, only the latte.  Eating raisin bran in baggie I packed.  Seeing new things to try with my work, with speaking, with how I market myself and Sonic.  Just remembered, today is Day 1 of Month 4.  Am I content with where I am, progress-wise?  More or less.  Need to keep taking notes, keep learning.  Test self and abilities with prospecting, and investigation of new clients and new client-rich areas.

Need this break, honestly.  Regroup and assemble before heading to Montgomery Drive in Santa Rosa.  Bring some of the privacy protectors, something to give prospects so they don’t see me as someone in their office just selling something.

Class tonight.  What’s my plan.  None.  Same as my approach to this… don’t do your job so much.  Focus on self, what you want, what you see in the company, how you translate the message and reality of Sonic.

Make this all literary, and it is.  Doesn’t need be made so.  Every character, every department, every role in the department.  Learn from every word, every walk.  This never happened at the winery, any of them.  No bets, no hedging bets.  This is where I need to write, and write about.  Eager for day of no more winery and teaching, and I keep saying that but I need to remind self, re-staple and cement the sense of a business bloke.

Someone behind me getting coffee.  Only had the latte and I need a boost or bump in my propeller.  One cup won’t hurt.  Thought about getting a sparkling water, but no…. no spending from debit, nor cash.  Only use change from drawer.


My favorite month starts with me riding the forward and creative storm of ideas from mixer last night in SF.  Writing my AE story, not so much a how-to but maybe inadvertently so. Meeting in Rohnert Park at 11.  Won’t make workout class, and I’m not sullen in such.

Reminding self to just speak, get to know the person and forget about the product and service.  Speaking from Sonic’s convictions and theses, yes, but from my own as well.  Aiming for today to be one of the best of the year so far, if not the single distinguishing and beaming, definitive, luminary print on my page.  Will be taking a break in a minute to write in other room, with people around me talking I’m trying to focus and shove self further into thought and I notice self straining excessively.  Not much, but not much IS excessive.

Everyone I met last night has their distinct thesis and aim, business and place, identity.  One of them complimenting me on my energy and Sonic-speak… reminded again I need to accelerate and amplify my act in the AE track.

Looking around desk, see Happiness Project Journal.  Write sentence, but not yes… don’t slow.  P-O-Z, Profuse Outlaw Zone.  YES!  Why didn’t I think of that yesterday.  What was yesterday’s acro’?  Can’t remember.  Don’t need to.   Said to Olivia last night that the aim of POZ is to do what Sonic is already doing but differently and with more amplification… using my background in wine and education.  So… what next.  Happiness sentence.  Done.

Not much till appt at 11.  Send emails, I tell self.  Hunt contacts.  I don’t necessarily agree with the intonation of “hunter mentality” but that’s what I’m putting myself in.  The model of POZ is very much centered around the real estate agent model and character, but minus certain specificities.  Nevermind that for now, I tell myself.  Aims for day…. 1, set one appointment, vendor or prospect.  2, Don’t leave office till SIX.  3, takeover bottledaux, turn it into more of a voice, more of a thing, a presence, a life, a climate…..  POST TEN TIMES.

Need to narrate more, get up earlier…. I know I know, how many times do I note that.  Last night over my quick dinner, and glass of AV Cabernet, reciting words to self on my business, an “elevator pitch” on ME.  Sales is part of it, but knowledge is as well.  What do you write, I asked self.  BUSINESS, I offered, declared, affirmed and re-affirmed.  That’s going to be the answer for the remainder of my narrative, and yes I’m thinking in those definite and finality, some would say grim terms.

First thing to being an AE, know YOU.  What you want for the client, their business.  What they want for themselves and their business.  Consultancy, hospitality….  So very Zen in this wee workspace of mine.  Heard one of the trainers mention writing a book, or list of “pro tips” as they described it for future hires.  I think.  Was listening in, but that’s how I interpreted it right or wrong, accurate or in’, and thought was a frenetic jolt of kind counsel.  Have my waterfall of suggestive jots in big journal, the Apache pages.  Warrior for this AE story and education.  First thing…. Keep conversations moving, write more letters, listen, ask the person about their life, their business, their visions.

Last day of September.  Soon entering my two favorite months of the year.  The semester flies by me as does just life.  After this weekend, I am convinced of the wine industry’s erase from my pages.  Not going to elaborate, but I need emancipate and further assert here at this desk, for my agency.  P-O-Z, Positive Office Zoo, or Zen.  Just thought of having it be an acronym.  Back to this morning, LEADS.  Conversations.  As many as you can have.  Get out of the office, visit spots literally given to you from Shannon.  Follow up on everything and don’t stop moving.  TAKE SONIC LAPTOP HOME.  Keep working, start tomorrow morning, tonight.  Having that be put to post-it to make it official, yes, but to feel it more.

Wondering what my next “power move” as I posted should be.  One thought, the first, is just quit the winery.  Hone on speaking, tech, blogging, building the agency and understanding Sonic and more of what it entails, speaks, what it IS.

The latte is strong, and it taunts me to move quicker.  Send notes.  Just had a calendar reminder pop up, to call a prospect in Rohnert Park, set initial.  Leaving reminder on screen to remind me more overtly.  The morning started a bit turbulent, of course with kids and what I had to do, and my little daughter curling up like a little kit in her blankie, not wanting to move even when I walked from shower to side of her bed. She I think subconsciously curled into my arm, me kneeling at bed’s side, talking to her and telling her I love her, that we need to get up and Daddy’s always here to help her.  I’m here now, where I can not only elevate our quality of life.  I’m not obsessing over that, the whole quality of life thing, I mean I don’t think I am.  Or maybe I am, I have kids and I want their life to be as encouraging and enjoyable as mine was on Bayview Drive.

Clear off desk, and keep it clear, clean.

Did a little, but not before setting appointment.  Appointments, more specifically.  2.  Already have to start thinking about changing into workout clothes for today’s HIIT class.  Cardio today, so I’m not that concerned.  But I remember how sore I was the last time I did this class.  Don’t think about it, at all.  Break soon, finish latte by ten, which is in 17 minutes.  Getting pulled away from page by new ideas that swarm into my head and nest and more ideas fall out and fly around.  Have to go out to car… get the wine I bought for clients before it gets too hot.  FUCK.

Not a big deal.. Still cold outside, Fall, one of my favorite months.  Lid off latte cup, now more or less chugging it for more electricity, more speaking ideas on Sonic and what I do and what I can provide a business.  Thinking of what the CTO said in going above the technology, focus on the human in front of you… focus more on myself and what I love about the company, what I love about businesses run this way.

Saturday morning. No winery, no winery event to work.

Just time with the babies, my latte.  May go for a run later, but legs are still sore from the workout Thursday.  Headed to winery for sure, Katie’s, in a few hours.  Thinking, what can I do for the agency, my P-O-Z project.  Can I prospect today, at all?  Thinking yes, in Kenwood, and…. Downtown a couple places, just stop in and say hi.  That’s it.  So not really prospecting, but building that community.  Writing more this morning and telling self not to obsess over any to-do’s.  Should have woke earlier.  Can do tomorrow, I tell myself but then wonder if that’ll happen.  Making today about wine, the world of wineries I’m from, having that part of the P-O-Z.

This past week actually writing and outline a definition for the Agency.  Recruitment, conversation, creativity of course, blogging, a real estate/real estate agent approach (which also demands definition).  This coming week, need follow up on appointment invitations.  Have to call Berkeley prospect today at some point, may do from St. Francis.  May do some POZ work there.  No more hyphenating, I just decided.  If you know me you know I hate punctuation.  Punctuation is all about rules, and POZ is about whim and kindness and communicative impulse.

Kids asking me to bring them water, I do, and without any forecast or sight I have a business hot–  Just get people what they want.  Never say no, offer alternative.  I’ve thought that before, so nothing terribly significant, but I had to write it.  My AE story separates from the AE insinuation and progression, and even Sonic, and wheels a proliferation of sovereignty.  I remember one day in the morning, 2008 at Sonoma State before one of my morning Composition.  All stemming from my observations at Sonic which constitute a certain hegemony, steering my ideas and lens perceptively in the business world and beat of things.

Sonic instructs much more than wine’s flimsy industry ever did or could do, and instills an echoing reiteration of simplicity, spontaneity, to be a dumbsaint and constant scribbler, seer, poetic architecture and holy contour of business.. This AE act, which isn’t an act I use that word with literary purposing and intonation, shows me business is not business as people estimate and define.  IT’s more connotative and deno’.  Think about it, they hired a wine writer and blogger for a supervisory position.  In Field Sales, no less.  This not only edifies and adduces their business philosophy and welcoming consistencies with everything.  Sonic teaches me about business, not the wine industry. And writing, how to write with more precision and moment-to-moment beat-like beat and likeness.

Was told ten years ago that I should blog about wine, and I have been since then on and off and then again loudly on, you could say.  But now, I write and blog about work.  About business, and how NO ONE should have to hold a job they don’t LOVE.  Yes, love.  There will be projects you are less excited about, but the character you are, and the story you’re in where you work was decided by you.  SO, there should only be love.

9:15am, and the babies continue to enjoy a lazy Saturday morning of cartoons while I let the caffeine in these 4 shots of espresso type away.  The contour of my AE spree, where is it taking me.  To my own office, yes, but to more realizations of life and business, the desk I sit at everyday, the meetings like yesterday.

Making the Sonic calendar my master and only calendar.  For everything.  Putting winery visit and light canvassing on today’s square, for noon.  Two other spots I want to visit, say hi.  Palooza, maybe Ty Caton, and then …. OH, a couple breweries.  One spot downtown.  If anything else, more community assembly. 

Why does one want their own business.  Somewhat a question that answers itself, with the words THEIR OWN.  It’s theirs.  This morning, feeling’s though I’m at Sonic, at my desk, walking around my building and the other like yesterday saying hello to friends in other departments.

Kids’ cartoon starting to distract me.  Can only write in short paragraph, quasi-HST form. With attention wandering.  Caffeine starts to control and fly me like a barely-built vessel.  In my office, like the office I’ve studied and seen online, with a tech/startup/chic library/wine bar feel.  Will there be wine in the office, yes.  No drinking during creating hours.  Not “work” hours, crEATive.  Hours are 7-5.  For me of course much longer, as with my partners in the same suite as me.  Not a “C suite”, or management cove.  Just my fellow or other deciders.  Like the coLAB downtown, I want colors and shine, encouragement to create, isolation rooms and studios.  Everything to elevate moods and impetus to ink a story.

Message from my real estate friend of 20+ years, suggesting I use social media more.  Funny, thought the same while driving to Danville yesterday, taking a picture of the cover of the Sonic folder I gave the IT consultant focusing on Sonic logo and font.  Will post when done with this… this morning entry supplementing and augmenting, further facilitating my definition and defining of business.

All in the office should be not only kind and inviting, but tireless curious, suggestive and workshop-like.  Share entries and ideas, blend them together.  Have to snicker while typing this, recollecting moments years ago, right around ’08 when in my car jotting those musings on autonomy and sovereignty, where I wished for a great consolidation.  And I don’t think I’ll have it considered an office, but a colony, a creative colony, island, like Sonic.  Somewhere that values whim, privacy and openness, conversation, enjoyment and love of life like no other workplace.  Where you’re told you’re a genius of your own genius and genus.  You are the only you, this morning and all–  Where you’re not excited to be at work but dreading leaving at day’s close even before you sit down and start typing to your coffee or latte, mocha or chai.  My office, room, space will continue to explore business and define and redefine it—deconstruct and further construct agreeable and embracing edges of its drive.  Of its Road.

A and E

Day FIFTY-SIX – 9/27/19

Started morning with music, and mostly tracks that connect and delightfully intermingle with my soul and principle being playing.  Then to latte acquire, 4 shots.  Parked bag and notebooks here in office then to other building to say hi to certain friends, my MDU brothers and sis.  Abe teaching me about a matter concerning resi vs. commercial points.  Learned more, which was unexpected and firefly delightful.  I’m feeling not just more autonomous in my AE spree, but more alive and perceptive and preemptive.

Watching a real estate show last night and how they attract business and generate leads, start conversations and collaborate more than compete, has me walking in all this work differently.  Thinking of this like real estate, and speaking it as I do literature and writing, and wine.  Speaking of which…. The winery did get my check right, from what I can see.  Was hoping they didn’t so leaving would be even more melodic.  Doesn’t matter.  Whether it’s correct or in’, I’m leaving soon.  Deciding entirely in this, this AE story and perspective.

Just made the two calls I had to this morning—oh, actually there’s one more I need to make.  One left message with someone in shop and the other’s voicemail is full.  How does someone let that happen?  Oh well, it happens.  Enacting real estate practice model, from prospecting to daily operations, to taking to advertising and social media, then fusing my professor and wine life into it.  I need to buy more wine for clients.  Not super expensive bottles, but ….. St. Francis SoCo bottles.  Not too pricey and little to no diminish in quality.  I’ll go by tomorrow at some point–  Interrupted concentration with text from colleague on consumer side of business, away this weekend getting married.  I texted him some wishes well and he sent a thanks in return.  One of the nicest humans I’ve ever intercepted unknowingly in my story.  The first day at Sonic, for my “interview” which was really more of a presentation of Mike Madigan and why Mike Madigan should be here contributing, he smiled and showed voluminous interest in getting to know me.  That too I catapult and compose in this AE book.  A bit of a tangent, but not. Musical. All of this… jazz, hip-hop, rock, literature… everything bound and tied to one tell.

Sore from yesterday’s workout, taking notes and it even hurts to scribble.  Still have to make one call.  Won’t forget.  What next… leaving at 10:30 for Danville.  Messaged Director Mark F. for insight as to approach and he, like I, keep it not even simple but human.  Ask the vendor about him, his visions, his projects, his story and self.  I say this maybe to excess and a repeated wet, but today is different.  Started with music, and last night with that real estate doc.  Have idea for letter… to old friend, in real estate.  Sending.  Well, writing first then sending.


9:26, and my speed hasn’t fizzled in the least.  Have to send a couple more letters, or notes. Then to the drive.  On The Road, my essential and most fundamental and fixed of figures.  I’m finding that business isn’t speed dependent but sight dependent. What you see for yourself and how you see the steps in front of you.  Talking to Abe in the other building and the presentation he’s about to make and the precision that’s necessitated in what he’s about to do, there’s more lesson.