Another ball about to begin, can’t believe it. Told the Nurse the Universe is responding to my efforts. Not sure I’d say rewarding me, but responding. I’ll say that…
Nurse sending the sweetest notes from her trip. Thinking about what I write about – Mental Health, Mindfulness, Manifesting, Happiness and Gratitude…. The books on the way, I just decided to stop and the other one can’t remember its name right now because I’m on a high.. one I haven’t felt in years. Actually…
When was the last time I felt this? Like this, or anything even resembling?
……..
21:27
Some of this not posted to blog because scowling beaks rest on perch with desperate respiration and groan. And now, I just get to laugh.
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Probably won’t post the above paragraphs, so in wine I write. The vineyards and the possible consulting assignment, if it goes… all off record but I write about it because, why, well, I fucking can.
I write from wine’s shape and color and hue. And more than wine or any one vertical I’m after passion. At war with SELF with certain low self-estimation. Stopping a week ago, and not just “thinking positively” as some urge me to more do, but telling self there is no alternate. There is no other option.
21:35…. Giving self a bit more to write. Then, bed. Early up in morning. Why, solely to do it. Nothing complicated, nothing syllabic or prolix just an addendum to past tracks. Me now new and with new imbue, in love this writer is… renewed.
My Story with this Nurse, bewildering and bewitching. I asked her today over text, something like “Is this my life?” Not overthinking or maybe I am but I have to communicate what I’m thinking, especially with days like today.
I can only control nothing, and I can somewhat navigate what I think and how I react. Control is not the objective – Mindfulness and my Mental Health is. HAPPINESS, imagine that.
21:46, time to wrap it up. Replaying day, and it went fast but there were times I thought it was dragging but of course the day overruled me.
Peace, gratitude, I feel so whole in this chair. Not sharing location, because if you know you know and if you don’t then that’s from reason.
Clocking out… need time to do nothing but be with and talk to SELF… the kids making me laugh tonight, their smiles and questions and comments, observations. The day gifted me…. How do I repay?